I dream the worst

Trigger warning : Death of near people. Theif, etc.

When you stare at the empty air, what do you think? You might be thinking of various things. Like, "What should I eat for my dinner today?" "My boyfriend is coming over, what should I wear?" "Ah! I forgot to do my Math Homework!!" All those various thoughts will rise up, eating you up.

For me, it works kinda different.

For me, I think of the worst.

Then you might wonder, what do you mean by worst? Like, failing your daily grades because you didn't turn in your work in time? Ah, yes. That was one of my worst thoughts when I was in high school.

But it's worse than getting a low grade in class.

I think about my family, and the worst that can happen to them. And you can imagine, death.

It can happen in various ways, and I have dreamed in those various ways. My father has a job that he sometimes need to go to work late at night, and every time he goes out, I believe like he might get involved in car acccident or something.

My dog doesn't bark. He always keeps himself really quiet, and he really likes sleeping laying on his side, with his four legs all stretched. However, I sometimes need to check twice, or more than that to see if he is breathing or not.

My mom always goes to sleep early in the night, around 9 p.m. as she has trouble sleeping at night with all those noises. When I go to sleep at 11 p.m. I make sure if she is actually making any sounds of breathing and others to see if she's alive.

My sister just came back from the other country, and on her plane, she got sick by Covid-19. We have been seperating with her in our house, so she has been staying in her room alone since 3 days ago. Luckily, we have a transparent window that connects with outside, so we can see and talk with her with a window closed in between us. However, you know, it's Covid. It's deadly virus (even though my sister is fully vaccinated and boosted). However, I am seriously worried that something bad will happen for her with that virus, making me check her health status for every hour.

My home is nth floor of apartment. It is 20 floors tall, and I live below the middle floor, so under 10th floor. It's not too low, and it's not too high. As it is summer, we sometimes keep our outside window open so that cool air during night can come in, refreshing our house. But every time I have it open, I get scared of "What if a thief crawls into my house, take all my precious stuffs and runs away?", even though the probability of happening is quite low. I mean, I do live not in the lowest floor.

And now I wonder. What made me feel like this? For what reason have I found a fear of something that won't happen easily? Honestly, I have zero idea. However, we know that our brain is very good at being creative, making people fear of something that doesn't exist, such as ghost, monsters under bed, and many others. Maybe my brain is overly creative in creating such a nonsense. Or, my brain can be overly dumb and cannot distinguish the fake and truth, making me believe everything.

How about you. Do you have a fear? What kinds of fear? Are you someone like me? Comment below and let's share what you have. There's nothing to be afraid, after all.