How to Get Over Social Anxiety?

Dealing with social anxiety can be tiring! You might really want to talk to other people, have an open conversation, and experience the fun in socialising, but this might lead you to overthink the situation before it actually happens, avoiding participating in the conversation or playing the moments again and again in your head, even after they have passed! This isn't just 'shy' behaviour; it is also feeling 'afraid' of being judged, to be embarrassed, or misinterpreted. The weight of social anxiety can make normal occasions feel larger than life.

Good times call for good medicine; social anxiety can be treated. You won't have to mask yourself as an outgoing person or completely change who you are. You can retrain your body to realize that being around people isn't as dangerous as you perceive it to be. You will make minor and constant gains along the way rather than hit a grand slam by changing overnight.

Understand what your anxiety is trying to do.

The first step in understanding social anxiety is recognizing it as a mechanism where your body and mind try to protect you from rejection or embarrassment. For example, when you walk into a room, and your heartbeat starts racing, or you go blank when someone looks at you, your nervous system is interpreting that experience the same way it does when you are in danger; however, sometimes, rejection or embarrassment isn’t that bad, or it doesn’t happen as we anticipate.

Become inquisitive about your feelings instead of trying to stiffly resist them. Identify scenarios that create the greatest levels of anxiety for you. Is it group discussions? Meeting unfamiliar individuals? Or being in the spotlight? Learning these patterns of emotion will allow you to experience them consistently and with greater ease to manage than if they were completely unknown.

Lots of individuals have negative thoughts about themselves. For example, thoughts like "Everyone is talking about me," or "I'm stupid" increase anxiety levels. Learning to question those types of negative thoughts, rather than just accepting them as true, is an important step in the recovery process.

Start small and build real confidence.

You can gradually lessen your fear or anxiety through a technique called gradual exposure. This doesn't mean you go out all at once to face the most challenging situation possible; rather, it means you use small steps to allow your brain to acclimate to the new experience.

One way to get started could be to look at a cashier for only a few seconds, send a text to a friend, or say something in a meeting instead of not saying anything for the whole time. These small achievements tell your nervous system that it is possible to interact without something bad happening to you.

The more we practice something, the more we tend to gain confidence in it. There are going to be some awkward moments when interacting with people, but that's okay because it is common for everyone to experience this. Your social skills will become better as you continue practicing, just as with any other skills. The intention is not to rid yourself of anxiety instantly, but instead to prove to yourself that you can still experience the anxiety without drowning in it.

Work with your body, not just your thoughts

In addition, social anxiety isn't just an emotion; it's also a physical sensation. Your body's movements and reactions indicate how you're feeling. Physical symptoms of social anxiety can include muscle tension, excessive sweating, rapid breathing, and increased pulse rate. If you practice techniques to calm your body down, it may help reduce the feeling of anxiety in social situations even further.

Breathing exercises that are simple in nature are beneficial to the body's nervous system. Breathing slowly with longer holds, inhaling and exhales will send a message of safety to the brain. Grounding techniques, such as noticing what is around you or focusing on any physical sensation, are used to distract your mind from going in circles.

Having enough sleep, moving regularly, and reducing the amount of caffeine consumed can also affect your social anxiety. The more exhausted or stressed your body feels, the more anxiety you'll have while trying to socialize with others. By taking care of your physical being, your body will create a calmer base for doing emotional work.

Change how you see yourself in social spaces.

Many individuals with social phobias feel a need to live up to their own lofty expectations, thinking they need to either be interesting, humorous, or entirely self-assured to fit in. The truth is, most individuals give themselves far more consideration than they do of you while allocating tedious amounts of time checking themselves against how others perceive them.

Transforming from performance-oriented to presence-centered is very powerful for you. So instead of asking yourself, "How does my presence affect others?" change that around to ask yourself: "What is my curiosity in this moment?" This can also help reduce your self-monitoring, which can often get you caught up in many anxious thoughts about how you are coming across to others. There's also a lot of power in redefining what success means. Success does not necessarily mean that you have zero anxiety. Sometimes success can come from just being present, saying one sentence, or staying in a conversation longer than you typically would.

When to seek extra support

If you have intense social anxiety, getting help from a professional has been shown to improve your ability to experience life in an otherwise somewhat inhibited way. The primary type of therapeutic approach proven successful for treating those suffering from social anxiety is cognitive-behavioral and exposure therapy. An online psychiatrist will assist you in addressing the thinking behind your anxiety, providing you with the opportunity to develop a collection of useful, practical strategies. Within that environment, you will receive direction and encouragement as you progressively work through your fears.

Use of medication can also provide relief from anxiety, especially in instances of the sheer intensity and permanence of anxiety as a state of being. To ask for help is NOT a weakness! This is often the point where real change happens. A gentler approach to getting through social anxiety means you'll be the same person as before, only now you'll be able to feel safe being your true self around others. Progress, at first, will appear as low-level or limited, such as having fewer racing thoughts and being present during conversations instead of mentally escaping while in the conversation.

There will be days when anxiety feels stronger again. That does not mean you have failed. Growth rarely happens in a straight line. Each small step builds evidence that your fears do not control you.

Take your time to go through this process. Social confidence is not something you are either born with or without. It is something that can be developed over time by your nervous system through patience, understanding, and practice.