How to Conquer Your Negative Body Image

I'll never forget the first time I heard someone call me chicken legs. Cause I tried laughing along with them. I thought maybe if I laughed and didn't show I was hurt, they wouldn't think I was weak, and more importantly, it would make me feel stronger than I was.

People always thought it would be cool to observe how skinny they felt I was, verbally.

Dude, you're skinny.

Man, I wish I was that skinny.

Or my Spanish speaking coworkers were calling me flaco (spanish for skinny man).

I've heard it all.

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, though. So many people are treated like absolute shit every day due to the amount of fat they carry on their bodies.

There's so much body shaming going on around us it's unreal.

Simply watch any movie made by a Hollywood studio or TV show, and you'll see the bull crap on full display.

Fat people are almost always demoted to being the funny side kick, or the villain (think Ursula from The Little Mermaid) in movies or tv shows.

If they do get upgraded to the starring role, then it's usually a movie or shows about fat people and their problems.

Melissa McCarthy is an exception. She's an American treasure for being one of the most talented performers in the entertainment industry, and for breaking the "skinny fit" stereotype. Seriously, she's amazing.

Okay, please excuse my Melissa McCarthy fandom. Back to the article…

The entertainment we create tends to reflect our cultural views to an extremely accurate degree. Therefore, the entertainment people consume shames abnormal body types, just as we do when we leave the screens.

It's a harsh world for people who are overweight, skinny, short or any other physical attributes our society deems sub-par. And it wouldn't be right not to mention this fact in an article about self-image.

But how does one develop a negative view of themselves? Is it society's fault? Is it the media? Bullies?

Over the years, I've always had more friends that were girls than friends that were guys, even when girls were still "yucky." So naturally, I've heard a lot of problems girls have, and girls go through quite a bit merely being girls (mostly due to guys).

There's been many crazy stories and situations I've been told, (some involving myself, which can be awkward). Still, the primary catalyst seems to be how girls see their own bodies.

They look in the mirror and brutally observe everything that's wrong with them. Some days they feel pretty, but there's always the doubt boiling up to their faces. And sometimes it over heats.

When you base your opinion of yourself on others, you're playing a dangerous game. Giving up control of how you see yourself to other people is always risky. But that's what people do, every day, every hour, every second.

Now for a plot twist... (dramatic violins playing) duh duh d–

Oops, my imaginary violin broke.

Anyways, the twist is that guys go through this too, just as bad. Everyone does. People like to think of it like a girl "thing," but it's so much bigger than that.

I felt a low body image despite not being fat, because people think it's okay to make fun of a skinny person.

Since we all go through this, what is the solution to achieving a positive self-image?

A while back, I dated a girl who didn't like the way her body looked. No matter how much I told her she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, she never believed what I saw was real.

All it took was for a couple people in her life to tell her she was fat, and it destroyed the filter in which she saw herself in the mirror.

It's all about the filter.

Social media is an excellent example of this.

Snapchat, back when it was a place high school kids sent nudes, created filters that distorted your face to make you look more like the ideal catch.

Making your cheekbones bigger, your chin less prominent, and glowing up your eyes, so they look like shiny golf balls with pupils on them.

Some people rarely post a pic of themselves without a filter nowadays.

The cool thing about these is that you can choose which filters to use. You can be the dog who sticks his tongue out or the one with those hearts that float around your head. Or even the one with the giant lips that makes you sound like a chipmunk.

You can also choose the filter of which you see your own self.

Fortunately, there are many to choose from.

However, these are the most popular:

You can use "what other society thinks of as beauty."

Or perhaps the "what people think you are," which is the one I used for a long time.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you can go with the, "I'm never going to be good enough for myself no matter what."

Now, in case you couldn't tell, all these filters suck.

They're all going to give you knots in your stomach when you strip down to your bathing suit at the pool, during Netflix and chill, or whenever you're simply out shopping at the grocery store.

So what's the right filter?

The answer is… you can choose the way you look at yourself. Like you can decide to be positive or negative. Simple right?

It's actually quite difficult.

It took me a few tries before I finally said, "fuck it, I don't care what people think while I'm swimming, I look friggin great, and that's that."

It's a beautiful feeling, though. Being able to walk around shirtless with my chest puffed out, radiating confidence even though I'm skinny, and I don't have much of a chest to puff with.

But it's the filter I chose.

What are some ways you can choose a filter like that, you may ask?

That's a tricky question. Everyone's going to have their own unique journey to finding a positive self-image.

Here's the thing though it's a tricky question because there is no secret hack, no catchy one-liner to switch the gears in your brain. Only the simple decision to look at yourself butt naked in the mirror and believe with all your heart that no matter what you like, you'll always think you're beautiful.

That's the filter. Not societies filter, not the asshole who calls you fat or skinny. But an image that will always lift you up.

I'm sure you're probably thinking, but I'm not beautiful, it doesn't matter what I tell myself.

To that I say, You have the power to change how you see yourself, all you have to do is find it within you, and see how beautiful you truly are.