How stop alcohol addiction? - 5

Like the pub, all it takes to enjoy a party is to be in command and all that takes is a little bit of planning.

Dave is 45 and had been drinking for 25 years before he gave it up. Soon after he went on the wagon he was invited to a friend's birthday party. Armed with a bottle of lemonade he set off.

His visit to the party was undertaken without any planning at all. He just wandered along. It was a nightmare, a high-voltage shock to his delicate alcohol-free system. Yet it could have been great fun if he had gone about it the right way.

He walked into a room full of swirling, shouting people, a room thick with smoke and music and alcohol. A good party in full swing has an atmosphere you can lean up against and this was a great party! In dark corners, eyes and teeth flashed and the kitchen was awash with spilled beer, paper cups, and drunks.

Walking into a party featuring an Aladdin's cave of liquor when you've just decided to give up drinking is a tough test of any. new teetotaller's resolve. This party was just such an Aladdin's cave. Here, then, was Dave, standing in a kitchen which resembled a bonded warehouse, where every conceivable type of wine, beer and spirit could be had. Caught unprepared, Dave fell into the silly trap of thinking he couldn't join in unless he had a drink in his hand. Like one of Pavlov's dogs, he had over the years trained himself to associate alcohol with fun until he believed alcohol was fun. Take away the drinks, take away the laughs. Of course, this is completely wrong.

In learning to say no, going to parties, and not drinking, Dave has discovered that he can easily do without alcohol and still have a good time. By going without and finding it fun, Dave has de-programmed himself. This is what you have to do.

Bring your own supplies

Going to a party isn't like popping into a bar. There's no guarantee there will be any non-alcoholic drinks, so you have to. take your own, and plenty of it, or be stuck with drinking water all night.

I have been to too many parties where there have been no soft drinks at all or I've been told they are for mixing with alcohol only. This is in spite of the fact that many people were driving. On these occasions, I've found myself wandering around sharing my rations with the neediest cases. No decent host or hostess should organize a party without providing plenty of mixers and fruit juices-not just to be mixed with the spirits. There should be a cocktail cabinet full of soft drinks.

If it is a large disorganized party hide a bottle, say, in the oven or a cupboard; if it is a more civilized occasion ask the host to look after some and whatever sort of party it always keeps a spare or two in the car.

It is when supplies of lemonade are low that everybody in the world decides they've had enough alcohol and goes on to the soft drinks. A couple of bottles of lemonade are soon polished off by half-a-dozen thirsty mouths.

Try to keep the drink cool, there's nothing worse than warm sticky fizz, and take plenty more than you need. If it's a bottle party don't just take along your own soft drinks; that's mean, stingy, and just plain selfish. The host is providing their home for the party, music, people, and quite often food, so give them a bottle of wine as a thank you. People would soon get fed up and the party invitations would start to dry up if all they ever saw from you were bottles of minerals or cordials.

What can I take to stop drinking alcohol?

Timing is important

Dave's first-party seemed to last years. He had fallen victim to the old enemy of the new non-drinker, time. His arrival at the party had been far too early and he paid for the mistake. It is important to plan how long you want to stay and to time the entrance right. Two or three hours is long enough the first couple of times and it is better to arrive late and leave when the others do, rather than get there first and leave just as everyone is beginning to enjoy themselves. Leaving early makes you feel terribly left out and miserable.

Advantages for the unattached

If you're single, arriving late and staying fresh has a big advantage. It is a lot easier to find a partner when you are stone-cold sober, and that goes for both men and women. There's no reason these days why women, as well as men, can't ask a person to dance, and a request coming from a lively, sensible, sober person is far more likely to get a positive response.

People trust you when you are sober, especially driving. This means that, at the end of a party, just when the drink-soaked romantics are making their moves, you can move in and whisk the darling of your dreams off their feet and into your arms. Being able to use the car both legally and sensibly is a big plus. And again, most people would rather be chatted up by someone who is sober and nice than someone plainly the worse for wear. So far from being a damper, not drinking at a party has some very positive advantages.

Being sober at the end of a party also means you needn't end up sleeping on the floor, waking up to the sight of empty beer cans and bottles strewn all over the place, and feeling as if you had been run over by a steamroller in the early hours of the morning. Or waking to hear the thunderous roar of the dawn chorus and taking ten panic-stricken minutes to Discover you have slept the last four hours upside down in the back of a car. Or, perhaps worst of all, waking up to find you are in bed with Someone else, someone you don't want to be with, and With your sweetheart's picture poking out of the inside pocket of your coat hanging on the end of the bed and not knowing what's Worse, the guilt, the shame or the headache.

Staying sober cuts out all this. When you wake up in the morning you'll be where you want to be and feel good for it.

Say only what you want to say

It is at parties that people will manipulate you into a corner and drill you for hours on why you have given up drinking. They are spurred on by a sort of morbid curiosity-they think that if their

push is just a little bit further they will reveal some naughty secret. They will discover, perhaps, that when you are drunk you steal bicycles and pass out on the way home. They hope that you will suddenly crack, fall down prostrate in front of the fridge and admit everything.

When this happens tell them that you don't drink because you have given it up and feel a lot better for it. When they persist you can either continue to stress the benefits of not drinking or ignore them. Tell them just what you want to tell them. There is no reason on earth why you should say anything more unless, of course, you want to. Going sober doesn't mean you have to throw open the doors of your soul to any nosey parker who happens to feel smugly curious. Giving up drinking is a brave, honest thing to do for whatever reason. It is enough just to say I don't drink'. You don't have to say anything more because you have said it all.