How scammers exploit realities shortcomings

The story and the lessons I will share are not unique. They are lessons told by a relatively bright man whose academic credentials would suggest that his financial downfall should have been avoided. Being this man, I can verify that the loss of funds easily could have been avoided had I been more cynical in my treatment of a specific online relationship. It would be easy to blame the impact of failed book sales, and the ineptitude of the IRS to function at a level that could even remotely be described as adequate. To be sure, had either the IRS delivered my late father’s tax refund of three thousand dollars or my book sales reflected the capital I had invested in the self-publishing process, my financial situation would not be catastrophic. Still the totality of funds from either the IRS or the potential royalties that I hoped to accumulate from the self-publishing of my political satire would only have served as a psychological disguise, an avoidance technique that would have left the issue of my own emotional susceptibility unexamined. The simple truth is that from the moment I was contacted by a stranger on Facebook, ostensibly seeking to expand their communities, my instincts were already sounding the alarm. To date I have not been able to determine the credibility of this individual was in fact a genuine scammer. In many ways their actions fit the classic profile of scammers who rely on what is known as the love scam. Yet there were at times when they own actions seemed to run counter to the aims of a true scammer. In the end the question of identity became secondary to understanding the Faustian bargain I had made, and which I suspect represents an internal pact with fantasy that has been replicated by more millions of individuals who utilize social media platforms. I came to see that it is not merely the construction of elaborate fictional narratives that allow their victims to feel value or needed. Such narratives may result in short term gains, but they are unlikely to provide the financial pay-off that law enforcement has documented in past cases, and which can run into the millions. The true grifter who operates through the internet seeks to develop relationships with individuals who have come to see the contemporary world as inherently incompatible with providing spiritual, emotional and or physical sustenance. Fantasy, not reality becomes the preferred mode of existence. During my written interactions with a scammer, I was perfectly aware of the ludicrous nature of the scammers alleged story. My decision to maintain a dialogue reflected a cynical attitude towards reality, rather than a belief in the pseudo identity of the scammer whose narratives came complete with promises of an idyllic future.

Like many who elected to unconsciously forgo the opportunities embedded in reality-based relationships, my decision to turn my back on contemporary society had reflected years of failed attempts to navigate the modern world. There had been a few moments of promise, but such moments had been rare, and had become rarer as I grew old. Whether it was applying for employment or developing authentic relationships in the real world, my psyche had become weary with retelling my story to strangers who often praised my gifts before denying me employment or a second date. The decision to consciously participate in a fantasy-based relationship hardly seemed less destroying than spending an evening drinking wine at a trendy Cambridge restaurant only to be told by my date for the night that my lack of financial success made me a bad match for most women. Surely an imaginary relationship could not be worse than those I had fruitlessly tried to develop while pursuing as a freelance artist. I took it as a given that the scammer that sought to engage me in their schemes would eventually disappear once it became clear that I would not provide the kind of financial payoff that they were seeking. I accepted that departure as one accepts the eventual departure of a FEMA relief worker. But unlike the scars of my past relationships my wounds would be seen only be me, and for brief, controlled periods of time, I could pretend that a world existed in which my failures were not counted against me, my shortcomings not treated like rungs on an ancient abacus that would find me lacking in ways that society viewed as commercially valuable. The true gift of the professional scammers lies not in the crafting of their narratives, but in their innate ability to discern which individuals are still able to perceive reality as a place that offers both safety and a chance to manifest an existence characterized by love and utility.

My decision to end my online relationship was not based on financial considerations, though that certainty played a part, but rather because I eventually found fantasy to be no more rewarding than reality-based interactions. I have subsequently embraced the life of a recluse. The one exception to this being my love, and pursuit of music. Chords and notes may not have the same visceral effect as a lover's kiss or the embrace of one’s offspring, but unlike the purity of music offers a kind of integrity that both fantasy and reality have never even come close to matching.

Whether social media platforms will continue to be exploited by scammers will likely be determined by whether society has the resolve to address its underlying pathology. A dysfunctional world that offers little in the way of genuine human contact, and which puts a premium on judgment and materialistic success may be marketable in the short term, but in the long will only increase the number of individuals who eventually reject both reality and fantasy in favor of reclusiveness. While this is just based on anecdotal observations, I suspect that millions have followed a similar path to myself, adopting reclusiveness over the development of authentic human relationships that seem more trouble than they are worth. I hope future generations can be persuaded that the world does indeed offer opportunities that cannot be matched by the world of fantasy, that remaining open to the emotional scars that accrue as the result of authentic contact with other human beings is both necessary and worthwhile.!