Harbinger of Spring

"Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you." - Hafiz

Journal Entry #31

In the hushed hours of dawn this morning, I caught a rugged lil' cowboy exploring my kitchen counter's terrain. Upon frightening the poor mouse, I gently tiptoed my way toward him. The courteous chap rose bravely to attention, and with tilted heads we soon found ourselves gazing warmly into each other's eyes. Namaste'.

At the first twitch of his whisker I knew we'd become instant friends, and as he scurried into an open bag of stale Cheetos, I set about brewing my favorite blonde roast.

My mother once screamed at the sight of a rodent with a shriek so deafening the poor little thing dropped right over dead. But somehow, this small presence near me in the dim, lonely light of a long winter morning, blanketed me. A warmth immune to the icy winds breathing through the walls of my weathered lake cabin; winds which no doubt delivered me this new friend.

While relishing my second cup of joe, the scruffy maverick finally emerged from his feast, belly ballooned, his wiry coat donning a vibrant dusting of cheese. He let out a small sneeze, splattering bright powder into a soft, glorious snow.

I was delighted.

Distracted from the depression that has been my only companion in months, I watched as he fearlessly traversed the morning shadows, weaving whimsical trails of tiny orange pawprints along the countertop - and my heart. He'd pause and lift his sweet wiggling nose, sniffing the aromatic steam of the Caribou coffee I was sipping.

When exploration of The Great Linoleum Frontier ended, his stake rightfully claimed, my wee pioneer dipped behind the oven top, bidding me adieu with a wave of his vanishing tail.

How serendipitous, that right in the thick of my darkest days, he arrived and surprised the sadness right out of me, if only fleetingly.

I can't help but feel the unexpected visitor this morning was a gift sent by Mysterious Magic, tied up in whiskered bow, encouraging me to believe that if depression's stronghold could weaken for 15 minutes, maybe, just maybe, the whole damn thing could one day fall.

Could it be that it is safe to step into life again? Strange thoughts are sprouting sudden hope in me.

Maybe this winter of my heart won't last forever after all.

Maybe the sun has been waiting to shine, just for me.

Maybe one day I'll sip my morning coffee feeling brave. Strong. Light and free.

For if a mere mouse can muster the guts and grit it takes to survive the merciless grasp of a deadly winter, dammit I CAN TOO.

The sun is setting now and a new vision is blooming inside of me: a restorative new beginning on the horizon, full of whimsy, companionship, JOY, and every beautiful thing.

Certainly the small stranger-turned-pal in the bleakness of my kitchen this morning wasn't just a mouse...but a messenger.

My long-awaited harbinger of spring.

"Now retire, my dear, from all that hard work you do, of bringing pain to your sweet eyes and heart." - Hafiz