Happy Holidays from your local burnt out writer

This time last year I was on a high. I'd just started sharing my work again, and while I hadn't written anything new yet, I was flooded with ideas and bringing old pieces back to live.

This year... I am absolutely fucking exhausted. Excuse my language. (Sorry, Mom).

My last few posts have been few and far between, and they're all edited pieces from college. I've been spreading them out - hoping to not become irrelevant (even though I'm pretty sure I already am).

I'm sure I'm not the only person experiencing challenge fatigue here on Vocal. I stopped writing brand new work after the Campfire Ghost Story Challenge, and have since only thrown a few old poems at other challenges. I sat down and wrote about 100 words for a more recent challenge - more writing that I'd done in months, but I was less than 8 hours from the deadline and pathetically unmotivated.

My free year of Vocal+ will end towards the beginning of next year, and I've been stressing on whether or not to keep my membership. However, today I realized that giving myself another thing to worry about is not helping me.

Between wedding planning, financial strain, a lack of therapy, brutal weather, and no motivation, I have more than enough to keep this brain busy and exhausted.

The burn out is real this year. With the impending recession, my work has been as demanding as ever. Last minute changes, working during off hours, fixing my mistakes as well as other people's... And of course, no bonus.

While the majority express gratitude with words (and occasional actions), I've reached a place where "Thanks! You're the best!" isn't enough.

And I highly doubt I'm alone in these feelings.

While I don't have a solution for you (or myself), I'm hoping that I can remind you that there are amazing things happening around us that we can find a small bit of joy in this holiday season. Here's a few memories I hope will shine above the others as I remember Christmas 2022 in the future.

Holiday Proposal

I proposed to my fiancé. Yes, we were already engaged, but personally I hate certain traditions, and I wanted to ask him too. I purchased the ring, got down on one knee, and asked him to marry me in the middle of our living room. He laughed at me, but he still said yes. Then we played Harry Potter Munchkin (a board game), which is what he got me for Christmas. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Gifts for a Neighbor & Friend

This year I have become really close with our neighbor. She lives alone with her cats and dog, and her and I often hang out and chat. I talk to her almost every day, and she's become a very important friend. I got her a couple of small gifts for Christmas, but I really wanted to make her something unique. I did an acrylic paint pour with some of her favorite colors, and watching her open it last night brought me so much joy. She's someone that loves personal gifts, just as I do. It was a very special moment.

A Friend's Graduation

A friend of my fiancé's and mine just graduated with her Master's degree, and we were invited to celebrate with her and her husband last Saturday. There was food, good music, lots to drink, and fun games. It was amazing to just relax and enjoy ourselves for a few hours - a reminder that work isn't everything, and we are loved by many friends and family.

When you remind yourself to find the good memories during a hard time, you might surprise yourself with how many you find.

• Celebrating an old college friend's birthday.
• Seeing family for the first time in a while.
• Re-watching the Harry Potter movies.
• Spending 90 minutes on the phone with mom.
• Catching up with friends you miss.
• Having a few too many drinks (but having a really good time).
• Finding the perfect gift for your loved ones and trying to hide your excitement to give it to them.
• Taking the dog to the park.
• Losing yourself in a fun new video game.
• Hot chocolate and cuddles on a cold, late night.

Please don't forget to take a step back from your work this holiday season. Spend time with friends and family, but don't forget to take time for yourself as well. This time of year can be crazy, but we can still take moments to slow down and enjoy ourselves. (Or at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself.)

Merry Christmas to you and yours. See you in the New Year.