Duality and Anxiety: The Infinity in Anxiety

I was speaking to someone recently about our shared experience with anxiety and depression. It was a lengthy conversation where neither one of us held back how we were truly feeling. We didn't let the anxiety stop us from saying things our souls needed to have said.

After a brief pause, they said, "I spend all day long doing math."

For a second, I thought that was interesting. I didn't know that about this person, their head just does math problems all day for fun? That's interesting, right?

But then they continued, "I go over how things could be different, five years ago, 10 years ago, 30 minutes ago, it doesn't matter how long ago it was. My head does the math of where I could be and how long ago I've done something in relation to it. If I had made this decision x amount of time ago, would I be at this other place instead? Have I wasted these years?"

It really struck me. I've always been someone that has loved math. I think it's beautiful, a hidden universal language.

The concept of infinity can be proven mathematically. The very idea actually challenged the church in ways not many other things have.

Math, just like our brain and mental health, has to be decoded to understand fully. And the thing to remember about infinities, math, and anxiety is that there are different levels. There are in-betweens and dead ends that have to be considered, along with the puzzle piece of the picture in your mind to get the proper understanding.

Duality; the Not so Hidden Infinity

"Every good quality has its bad side, and nothing that is good can come into the world without directly producing a corresponding evil. This is a painful fact," - Carl Jung.

The main thing to remember about duality is that it doesn't just apply to things like good and evil, masculine and feminine, left and right, or any other combination of opposites. It can also exist between concepts or representations, like numbers. -1 and 1, for instance, or even 0 and 1.

Polarity lies all around us.

When we think about polarity or duality, it's easy to miss the ocean that lies in between the two points, fixating instead on the two opposing points entirely instead. However, things aren't black and white.

When you fly from California to Japan or New Zealand, you're so eager to overlook the ocean that you'll literally sleep through it. But you'll miss all the islands that lay between, all the opportunities for a breath of fresh air.

Duality doesn't just lie in places, colors, or objects. It also dwells within people. Where there is someone who is primarily ethical, there is someone else who is primarily unethical. The combination between these two points on the spectrum is an ocean where most people fall into but are not often considered or looked for.

Duality in Anxiety

The truth of the matter is that reality lies somewhere between all of the thoughts you're having. Somewhere between the good and the bad, in that small infinity that lies there, that's where real life takes place.

When we can understand this and force ourselves to swallow the fact that we are worrying about something that statistically would never become an outcome, we can begin to feel some sort of peace. Or maybe talk ourselves down off the ledge of everything-bad-is-going-to-happen-I-just-know-it.

But wait, I know what you're thinking.

How can we feel peace when there are even more things that can go wrong? That's a valid question. But when there is an infinite number of things that can go wrong, there also has to be an endless number of ways that it could all go right.

So the question moves away from how can this go wrong, but how can this go right? That small shift can begin to offer some comfort, a brief ray of sunshine through a cloud of endless jumbled, half-thoughts that we know are coming between us and the things that can make a difference, the things that make life worth living.

It's not an easy shift to make, but it's surely worth it. Habits are hard to break, but they can perhaps be changed. So when the what-if-this-bad-thing-happens come around, try to flip the switch to how-could-this-go-right instead.

Try to explore the ocean that lies in the duality of anxiety.