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Drug Psychosis

The continued journey to me

By Tamika MuirPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
Drug Psychosis
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I was completely unhappy with my situation I got myself into. I had unpaid bills, that I couldn't afford to pay & didn't want to. I was thinking it was unfair the businesses were charging me to use resources that came from natural resources & the way it was delivered to my house had been in place for over ten years. Besides they were adding interest to a bill I couldn't afford to pay in the first place, how does that make any sense? I also had a communications bill, that I had requested to be audited. They had charged me for an access I had not used since they connected me to another access. They also disconnected all my communication & internet access at a certain value, then tried to keep billing me for services unable to be used. I had unanswered questions of how my voice could be heard within my head. A communication company would make some sense. It was as if my inner voice was being projected extreme distances & only they could hear all of my words. Its as if people were able to connect to me if they wanted to be heard. Who else could create a digital signal from a persons mind? Maybe the government, or maybe a privately owned recoveries agency. I believed I was being gaslighted to be bullied into paying my bills. By unhappy voices who thought it was unfair, not to be responsible for your own expenses. Up until this time I had always paid for everything, but my drug addiction was taking priority over essentials. All of my money was budgeted around being able to afford enough methamphetamine to have my shot every day. It was my biggest concern, my whole life revolved around it. A community usually looks down on illicit drug consumers. They are seen as a burden to society, assuming they are responsible for causing most illegal activity. Making a society complacent with disrespectful behaviors & attitudes & judges them as not being able to live a normal life like everyone else. The first voices communicating with me were opinionated & judgemental on my lifestyle, they were interrogating seeking information, trying to make me responsible for my actions. They were humiliating, personal & seemed like they had a hidden agenda. They were trying to control the way I thought, by using sounds to highlight unacceptable words. It was like they were exposing me in every single way with no boundaries. It seemed like some sort of torture treatment, continuous pressure trying to get me to breaking point. Threats of doing the same thing to my family members, with no concern for basic human rights. Obviously these voices did not care for me, they were trying to discredit me & my actions, turning voices against me. This treatment started after I had thoughts of holding the federal government accountable for my drug problem. My thoughts were; well they are not protecting me from the exposure to drugs, how are they doing their jobs if drugs are still easily available from several sources? Surely they would be aware of everything regarding illegal substances, with their resources & task forces, how could they not be? I blamed them for being able to have all the control over the availability of methamphetamine. If I could hear my voices & they could all hear each other, how could it be possible that the law enforces could not gain access to this communication? It seemed real to me. I expressed my opinion on a certain situation I was experiencing, shifting the responsibility from me to someone else. It was like my opinion was not acceptable so I had to be punished for it. I was traveling along the freeway when I noticed a business car from one of the companies I owed money too, they swerved towards me & said pay your bills. I was receiving a lot of spam email requesting money from me. I had debt recovery agencies contacting me, all of my financial issues were building up. It was like I was being approached in all communication forms, I even saw shark patterns in the clouds, I was being circled trapped in. The voices were not concerned for my well being they were in it for themselves. Gaining what they wanted, what they set out to do, like it was a planned attack. A large group of voices came in loud pressuring me, expressing their opinion & wanting me to attend to my swimming pool because it was giving off an odor. They were trying to achieve their objectives together as a team against me, planned with a clear intent. Would it be possible a group of people could come together & gaslight a person in society in this way?

humanity

About the Creator

Tamika Muir

I am a single 41 year old pisces, I was diagnosed as being in a drug induced psychosis which developed into skitzophrenia, I have a methamphetamine addiction for no explainable reason. I have wonder as to why I experience what I do.

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