Dealing with Anxiety

Hello! It’s very nice to meet you.

My name is Rebecca, I’m 18 years old, and I’ve been struggling with anxiety for almost all of my life.

It sucks. A lot.

And I know what you’re thinking “she’s only 18, how the hell would she know what stress is”

To that I answer; everybody stresses out. Some only a little, some a lot. Some people have control over their anxiety, some others don’t. But you clicked on this article for a reason! So I’m here to teach you how I’ve managed with my anxiety, through years of trial and error and therapy! (This is basically a “how to calm down” for Dummies.)

1. Identify what’s causing you anxiety.

This step seems simple, but you’ll be surprised at how many people fail to do this step. This is the first mistake most people make; They become anxious over one trigger, don’t acknowledge it (there for they don’t “neutralize” the anxiety) and it begins to build and build until they snap or have a panic attack.

Take everything one step at a time. You are going to be okay.

Acknowledging what’s causing you anxiety sounds like this-

“I’m feeling anxious because of _____”

BOOM! First step done. So now what?

2. Understand the severity of your situation.

Say you’re going for a job interview,

You’re all worked up because you’re scared of failing or making the wrong impression, you’re also excited because you really want this job, but all day you can’t shake the feeling and it increasingly gets worse. You may begin to feel a panic attack creeping in.

You must remember, that it’s not the end of the world.

You might be thinking, “Um, yeah duh.” But your anxiety doesn’t.

Think of your anxiety as a voice in your head whispering to your brain how to feel. It tells you to worry because you might fail, This is very important, so you cannot fail.

And then your brain is like oh sh*t we can’t fail, oh god what do we do what if we fail.

It’s okay! Always recognize there are other options. THERE ARE ALWAYS OPTIONS. Have trust in yourself, you’re far more capable than you realize.

To do this, you have to challange the anxious thoughts.

This looks like: “What if I succeed? What if I get the job? What if my interviewer loves me? The likelihood of that happening is no smaller than the likelihood of failing. We don’t know what the future holds, we can’t control it. We did/will do our best, and that’s all that matters. The rest is out of our hands.”

3. Repeat step 2.

This is going to take a lot of time until you feel calm enough to go on with your day. Mind you, this will not completely eliminate your anxiety, this will only make it manageable.

This step takes a lot of practice. Your anxious thinking is going to convince you that you’re wrong, that what you’re saying is wrong, that you’re lying to yourself etc. but over time you will gain more control over your anxious thinking and it will be come quieter and quieter, and more managable.

4. Understand that anxiety is not your reality.

Your anxious thinking will constantly try to convince you that everything it’s saying is true, and you have every reason in the world to be worried. This is false.

Like I said before, we have no clue what’s going to happen. But that’s not automatically something to fear! Everything in the world could go well! We have no idea, but isn’t it nicer to expect that than the opposite?

Your brain when it’s anxious is basically just it going haywire. It’s out of control. The whole point to this article is how to gain control of your anxiety but you must understand how it works.

Whether is chemical or emotionally triggered anxiety, they pretty much work the same way. Except one is harder to control.

Once you recognize that your anxiety is simply just your brain going stupid, everything else is easier to comprehend. This logic goes for panic attacks as well except it’s more severe.

Just because you feel it and think it, doesn’t mean it’s real.

5. Stay aware of your thoughts!

Congrats! You’ve just learned how to retrain your brain. And like everything else, it takes practice. And time, a lot of f*cking time.

Stay aware of what you think on a day to day basis. You’re not aware of your anxious thoughts until you begin to feel them. Be mindful of how you treat yourself and what you think and say to yourself and others.

Your life is what you make it, and how you view it. You have control over how you perceive things.

6. Breathe, deeply.

I know, how cliché. But lemme tell you, it works.

Deep breathing forces everything to slow the hell down, physically and mentally. (Remember, anxiety is just your brain going too fast.) It’ll take a while until you’re completely calm but you will reach that state eventually so stick with it.

But it actually works over time! It’s not something that’s like one and done, your body eventually realizes “hey, did y’all know we could be chill? like we don’t have to be uptight all the time” and as time goes on you’re subconsciously more at ease; thus the anxious thinking isn’t going to come on as easily.

7. Drink water and eat something

Sometimes, my anxious thinking starts when I’m dehydrated (yes literally) I’m not sure why but I’m assuming my body is working harder than it needs to, so then my brain is as well? Idk but just make sure you’re well fed and hydrated. Not only because it’s a good idea in general, but some people’s moods are affected by their hunger levels too!

Here are some extra things I like to remind myself when I’m feeling anxious:

- I’m not responsible for the well-being of others, only myself.

- I am okay.

- my anxiety will not determine my mood for the rest of the day.

- Anxiety passes eventually.

- I have no control over the emotions of others and their actions.

- I let go of anything that is not my responsibility or is not in my control.

- I am calm.

- Everything is okay, nothing is life threatening.

- I am safe.

- I have control over myself.

- This anxiety does not determine anything. It’s simply my brain going too fast. This is not my reality. This is just anxious thinking and nothing more.

I hope this has given some of you peace of mind, I know it has for me (: and remember to breathe!