Creeping darkness

I’m not sure where you came from, or where you go. All I know is that you’re not welcomed here by anyone. I want you to leave, you're dampening the mood. Just pick up your stuff and leave. You make me hate myself, and everyone else. Doing literally anything hurts your muscles, almost like your body is fighting it. Why can't I leave you alone?

It's because you’re enticing.

Those long talks, the comforting words. The vices you sank into my skin. Filling my world, every day and night, with that coy smile that creeps onto your mouth. Your lips that yearned for my everything. You swallowed me whole, making yourself the center of my world. The blue-tinted innards that filled my sky, and your voice booming all around.

I can’t live without you. Your entire being is so intoxicating. The way you steal my breath away and tease my skin with electricity. You want me to want you. I do. You’re tied to me like a dog on a leash, and you don’t want to leave.

Sniffing, barking, demanding.

It’s all you ever do. No matter how many times I’ve tried to leave you. With a whisper from you, your lips slipping in my head, I gasp for air, and the next thing I remember is waking up the next morning. Sunkissed cheeks warmed from the early morning. I just move along with my day. Ignoring the night before.

The rollercoaster ride you take me on is the new norm for me.

How do my thoughts look? Am I happy enough? Sad enough? Do you need to poke and prod around, leaving sweet little sorrows behind?

I have locked you out, closed the blinds, and all but few to cease your inexorable pleas for attention. Covered my ears. Filled my head with smoke and my eyes with lights, but you seem to find a way in like a foul smell from outside the window. I never stop you or punish you. You'll never know how you make me feel, you could never take the time to listen.

I love the me that I am without you.

The person who loves, and learns, and teaches. Loving life is one of life’s many secrets. If you can learn to love your own life, then you’ll be able to find the beauty in the smallest of things.

I hope you realize someday the pain you've caused, but I know you won't. That's just you and who you are. Draining. All consuming. You prey on the weak and you make them even weaker. Ruining their lives one by one, spreading your sludgy words across the world.

The time and attention needed to clean off your mess are all but easy. Undoing your tangled lies and hanging up all your laundry while throwing mine on the ground. You could only ever care about yourself and no one else.

Please, stay away. I don't need you. You're enticing words, the vices you sank into my skin. The long talks, and coy smiles. It was all a trap so you could clasp your boney cold soulless fingers ar0und me. Draining every ounce of life from my lips. Little by little I replaced my world with you.

Not anymore, you're not going to rule my life. The grasp you had on me does not work anymore. I have grown stronger than you and even on my darkest days, I won't turn back to you. No longer will you be back of my mind, but rather you'll be just there, somewhere, remembering the times we had and only seeing the person I am today.