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Beyond the Blues

Understanding depression is difficult; hear from Psyche's community of peers on their experiences with this mood disorder.

My Life with Mental Illness
I’ve said before, I’ll say it again and again: I am lucky. Of course I am. My life is not as bad as the majority of the world, and my mental well-being is not as bad as some in the world. However, while some are quick to disagree, my fight is as crucial as every other fight against mental illness.
By SKetch Media8 years ago in Psyche
Am I Addicted to Depression?
I realised very recently that I seem to have a subconscious desire for sadness and self-destruction. I am finally at a point in my life where my mental health has little reason to flare up. I know that’s not exactly an appropriate thing to say since depression isn’t always triggered by something; often you can just get sad for no reason. But what I mean is, I recently moved to the other end of the country, to an amazingly unique city that has no personal triggers for me. I moved away from everyone I know and moved in with my partner, who just happens to be very good for my mental health. She is incredibly understanding and supportive. I also got really lucky with a great job that I actually enjoy quite a lot that just happens to pay really well and has allowed me to progress to management in a matter of months. Everything is so different and so much better than it ever has been for me but it’s as if my subconscious isn’t responding well to my newly calm and comfortable life. The thing is, I have never had a comfortable life; there has always been something for me to deal with. As a child in a broken home, a suicidal teen, and a troubled and disappointing young adult, and dealing with forms of abuse during all of those periods, perhaps I can’t handle a comfortable life because I never learned how to; perhaps I won’t let myself be happy because that is not what I’m supposed to be, according to my past. To escape the depression is all I’ve ever wanted to do, or at least I thought it was, but I just can’t seem to allow it to happen.
By D Burton8 years ago in Psyche
Sadness All Around
It's the holiday season, time for happiness and cheer, right? Well, maybe not for everyone. I know I find it hard lately to find more than a fleeting glimpse of the cheer I once felt this time of year. Instead, I feel the dark hold of sadness creeping in on me, on my mood, and into my soul.
By Tim Lawson8 years ago in Psyche
How To STOP Depression!
I went through a severe depressed stage in my life, I would't eat, I had no motivation in life, I felt worthless, useless, like I was good for nothing, and I truly thought I had no talent, I felt like this is how it was always going to be, that I'd never find true happiness.
By Who Am I?8 years ago in Psyche
Postpartum Depression: What You Need to Know...
Starting a family can be a roller coaster of emotions. You are excited to welcome a new baby into the family, you are anxious to meet your little one, and you are nervous about the birth experience; with all of these changes happening, we get lost in the thrill of becoming new parents.
By Evan Overton8 years ago in Psyche
The Last Letter
“Death is not an option,” she kept telling herself, but in her mind, death was the only option. Death, for her, was an escape from the bondage of life. She had grown weary of her mental rollercoaster and this was her only way out. “People are gonna think I’m crazy!” she thought, but that was the least of her worries. She knew she lived her life in the shadows. Who was going to miss her? No one can miss what can’t be seen. Even though she had glimmers of hope nothing really worked out for her in the past.
By Yalanda Price8 years ago in Psyche
10:05 P.M. Thoughts
Side note: I made this for an educational purpose so people can understand depression through my thoughts. It talks about topics that might trigger someone who goes through similar situations. I hope you find this beneficial and to not feel alone.
By Logan Jara8 years ago in Psyche
Bigger Than Band-Aids
Imagine a factory. Clean, as if you could hear a single speck of dust hitting the cold, concrete ground. The rhythm of the methodical processes; a sound that assures you that all the parts of the process are functioning correctly. A line of small packages travel down the line as if coasting on a thin layer of ice. The packages approach a fork in their path; while most continue, a few fall into a long, dark metallic void.
By Diana8 years ago in Psyche
The Day I Broke Up with My Mental Illness
As a kid, I knew I was different. It started one summer when my best friend from across the street came over to play. Our days never seemed to stopped. Sprinklers under trampolines followed by pudding popsicles and frozen waffles. Slip n’ slides and wet grass and sunscreen. Endless days and sleepless nights. Summer was the best time of our lives. But not this summer. I couldn’t. My brain and body could not. I laid in my dark room for hours at a time running my hands over the silk sheets wondering what was wrong with me.
By Tabitha Shiloh8 years ago in Psyche
A Survival Story
I’m awake. I’m here. My head is swimming. I’ve been sick all night. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what happened.
By Allie Stone8 years ago in Psyche
Depression Doesn't Have to be Postpartum!
Yes, I just recently had a baby. Yes, I’m depressed as fuck. No, I DO NOT have postpartum depression. Postpartum Depression is depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue. I’m already a mother, so there’s not much of a psychological adjustment needed there, and sure I’m tired and fatigued, but I was more tired and fatigued before the baby was born due to a pregnancy induced liver disease (Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy, or ICP for short) that made me constantly itch all over my body. I actually sleep better now that the baby is born. Oh yes, the hormones are plenty, but they aren’t all bad. Oxytocin isn’t bad. The hormones are not making me depressed either, although I blame those for the waterworks that occur during sappy commercials and the sentimental sadness I experience when I think about my babies growing up on me.
By Jessa Mae8 years ago in Psyche
How We All Live in a Depressed World
Those days you wake up and would like to scream but realise you have no voice so an inner voice from inside yourself screams itself allowing yourself to feel better. This situation does not allow yourself to leave but you really have to be strong enough to allow it to leave. It is like you do not want it to leave but then you do. It all starts off with a feeling of slight loneliness which you try to erase. However, after a few days you realise there is nothing to erase as it was not just a thought but a true fact. This intense feeling makes you believe that there is no one and that you are truly alone. Alone from the inside of your heart to the outside of your soul. It is hard to believe but this feeling comes to a lot of people once in a lifetime and it is about time to share this feeling with the entire world. People experiencing depression will relate to this because it will allow yourself to awaken as it is not the best place to be in at any point of your life. You start to question everything in your entire life, the good that you have done and the bad that you have committed. When deep down you know that good is good and bad is bad but you still end up questioning the good to make yourself feel better. Sadly, it does not work and you start to realise that nothing in this entire life makes you feel happy. This feeling can occur to anyone at any age and its very depressing when you are young and have to go through all this. I guess it is a sad fact that allows you to understand the concept of reality.
By Z K8 years ago in Psyche