Change

I was doing okay with my course I guess. It never interested me though. Choices...choices are tough. I chose what I thought I was supposed to.

One day, in the hostel, I saw a girl talking to some girls about her course.

She talked about many things like design and film and before I knew it, I found myself listening in on the whole conversation. We were in the same college but her course was new and I didn't know there was something like that available to us. I couldn't hold back and asked questions. Soon, we became friends. I would often go to her at night to talk when I felt alone. I would tell her how I loved photography and show her some of the pictures I had taken. She always supported me and encouraged me to take photography more seriously.

My family is liberal and my father loves movies, we often shared about our families with each-other. She became like an elder sister to me, we shared a special bond. We would often share short films with each-other and I told her about some of my favourite directors as well.

One day, she suggested changing my course. I was silent for a moment before I told her I had already changed once. She didn't look surprised. She didn't frown like most people do, she didn't say "Oh you have caused your family trouble." She looked at me and said, "You changed it because you were not happy with it."

It felt like somebody finally understood me. I broke down. I cried and that's when she realised how deep I was holding all these feelings in. She hugged me and stayed silent as if she knew I needed to let it all out. She finally spoke, "You should do what your heart says." I know, I know I sould but what about my family? I would just inconvenience them greatly.

We talked till late and I opened up to her about my concerns. "Well, from what I've heard about your family, it doesn't seem that they will be happy if you're not. Talk to them and see what they say."

I thought about it quite a lot. People were gossiping behind my back about how I was indecisive but I carried on. Sometimes, it would hurt me to think they were so insensitive. "They don't know what you are going through and so, their opinions don't matter. What matters is how you feel." Her words made a huge difference on my mindset. I was not okay but at least I had someone who understood. I had to fight alone, she couldn't do it for me but some words of encouragement was all I needed to take a step forward towards my dreams.

It was just another day when I decided to finally talk to my parents. I wasn't sure what I was going to say but somehow before I knew it, we had decided to change my degree. Just like that. My parents understood exactly how I felt. I couldn't believe it was so easy. I suffered alone thinking they wouldn't for so long. They were happy to support me because it seemed like they understood that this time, I wouldn't have to change again. I found what I loved. Photography.

I met with my senior again and this time, I had happy tears in my eyes as I told her the news. She cried too. She was extremely proud of me and we often talked about what we learned as she also had photography for a semester.

I wonder what would I have done if she and I never crossed paths. I don't know if I'd still have changed my path. Maybe after more agony and loneliness, I would. But her being by my side meant a lot to me. And she said it meant a lot to her too. I was finally happy, doing what I loved, everyday was bright sunshine!