Blackness is Greatness

Bianca has helped me as a YouTube curly hair influencer in several ways.

1. Given me confidence in my natural beauty and style

2. Helps me make informed decisions about my hair care routine and products I use

3. She had a recent post to her YouTube channel where she was vulnerable about her feelings and the struggles that come with being a YouTuber

I started watching her a few years ago when I needed guidance navigating all the multitude of curly hair products that were coming out. I didn't know much about them and I had no idea how to use them because I had a very different curly hair routine and there were so many different terms that applied to them. I am proud to say that I have always had healthy curly hair and that Bianca just made my hair even better in its natural state. She talked me through what a lotion versus a milk was, what a cream, gelly, souffle, and butter were, and how and when to use them. I now have spring and summer routines and a fall and winter routine. My hair is longer and stronger and I wear it naturally pretty much year-round. Yes- I do still straighten my hair a few times a year, but I use a lot of the prep that I see other influencers do and my hair has been so healthy throughout the entire process. I also do a LOT of TLC processes when I go back from straight to curly. *Bianca I love you and please don't be too mad at me that I still straighten my hair!

I recently watched a video she submitted at the beginning of February 2021 called "Don't call me perfect. Dealing with my Addiction". Her addiction is being a perfectionist and she spoke on how being a social media influencer has had some positives in her life but also about the negatives that it has had on her mental health at times because of the intense want to be perfect and hold up to the standards that her followers put onto her shoulders. She went into learning how to balance her relationship, motherhood, and her channel and the battle she has with herself to always strive to sometimes unrealistic standards. I think so many of us needed to hear that and didn't even know it. I sure did.

I have STRUGGLED with how I look since I was a kid. I always thought I was a fun kid and while I was bossy (it's working in my favor as a current BOSS BITCH at my job) but overall a loveable kid. I hit middle school and so much related to my look became a factor. I was skinny, smart, and goofy, which warranted bullying left and right from other Black students. I was hurt HARD by my classmates when I threw a birthday party for when I turned 13 and only one person showed up. I still remember the look on my parent's faces when they were looking at me sadly sitting there with no one to celebrate with until the one person showed up. My views of myself and my worth went way down and my focus on my self-esteem was front and center. Popular/Social Standards that I did not meet: 1, Me: 0. Boys did not like me either- I was smart and a bit goofy looking and I did not wear fake hair, or straighten my hair, or wear all the cool clothes that my Black counterparts did- all of those things were things that made me lose cool points to the point where I was in the negatives. Who the hell owes cool points? Me. I did. It was an awful 2 years of torture between the bullying being constantly targeted to the point where I did have continued lessened self-esteem and passive thoughts of suicide. Thoughts where I figured that this world wouldn't miss me if I just went to sleep and never woke up. In my mind, why would they? My teachers did not really stop those who were bullying me, throwing threats of physical bodily harm after class anytime I was brave enough to try to stand up for myself. I was shamed by other Black students in my class and I drifted further and further away from having Black friends because of it. High school was a little easier and I did gain more confidence quietly and had my own "Bitch please" attitude that developed in 9th grade. I still had no real style but my hair was now straight and my make-over helped with me at least having friends. College is where I blossomed into the woman I am today- I do think about who I could have been if I didn't have those stressors growing up but I like who I am now. Ok fast forward and loop this back into Bianca!

With Biana's content, my hair game changed and then some. I know I have gorgeous hair that other envy- inCLUDING the BIRDS who bullied me heavily in middle school. INCLUDING the boys who rejected me in middle and high school who now see the glow up and regret having treated me the way they did way back when. You know who you are, should you be brave enough to read this post. Bianca and others (JewJewBee, Lana Summer and, Joyjah) helped me build my confidence, helped me to see that my Black was and always will be beautiful. With that power, I have the confidence to share my haircare confidently and love my good and not-so-good hair days- I refuse to say bad because I am convinced my hair will read it and come back with a vengeance. Either way, her hair tutorials, her Vlog, and her reviews on products have helped me to grow as a woman, grow healthy beautiful hair and throw out tips and tricks to others who are also wanting healthy beautiful curly hair no matter what race or ethnicity they are. She also supports Black-owned beauty products! Now that I have my hair managed, I also look at her and other influencers for skincare products and make up that are appropriate for my needs and budget. As a mental health professional in these trying times under a pandemic, I need really good self-care and that comes from my hair care and skin care. I value Bianca's contribution to my life and confidence and I am a better woman for her honesty and lack of perfection because I myself am not perfect and am very hard on myself when I am not. She is honest in her reviews and videos and also allows grace for the times that she is not perfect and is open with her followers on that front. Some would say to a fault but I believe she has a good balance and is not here on these streets airing all her dirty laundry and personal items.

In conclusion, Black curly hair influencers are important. I enjoy feeling represented and finally being seen for my curly hair and it being considered beautiful and having that guidance helps me to feel beautiful and shine, even when my hair won't. Below I have added the link to the very video she posted where she was open and honest about her feelings and struggles. It's a very honest video and I appreciate her grace and candor. It is what makes us all beautiful; grace and candor.

Stay safe, connected and, stay beautiful everyone!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MJ57ncx2ck&t=156s