At What Point Is It OK to Quit?

Today I found myself watching everything at work go to shit. I wasn’t surprised. In fact, I’d spent a considerable amount of time attempting to warn other people about the upcoming shit storm. Still, even though everything I’d predicted would happen came to fruition I felt no satisfaction. In fact I found myself having to justify months worth of following directions from higher ups as everyone looked for someone else to blame. Thank god for email trails is all I can say.

I sent my husband a message around 2.30pm: ‘Talk me off a ledge, I want to walk out’. He called concerned, and I had a very succinct rant as I left work for the school run. Luckily, he was already well versed on the work dramas via the daily after work tirades.

I didn’t quit, storming out in a blaze of fury and truth bombs like the version of me in my head who is fearless and eloquent under pressure. I still want to. In fact, I’ve wanted to quit every day for almost a year. The organisation I work for seems to be floundering. The people in management positions are completely out of touch with those working at the coal face, and nepotism and cronyism run rampant in the higher positions. Organisation-wide directions conflict each other and no one seems to be on the same page. There have been decisions made over the last year that I not only disagree with in a business sense, but that also clash so strongly with my own morals that I have questioned whether my conscience can handle continuing to work there. The expectations of our customer base have shifted and the constant demands that cannot be met are exhausting. Everyone is on edge all the time and it is quite frankly, miserable.

I also have a family. I have responsibilities and bills to pay, and the job market has plummeted off a cliff. The news and social media are full of story upon story of people who have been job hunting for months but can’t even make a short list. Articles about jobs that have received thousands of applications from desperate job seekers. It doesn’t exactly fill me with hope, and the general consensus is that you would be an absolute idiot to give up a job in an economy where people are being made redundant at an alarming rate.

So I find myself constantly asking, how far will I allow myself to be pushed? At what point will my morals, patience, and mental health be pushed far enough that walking out is justified? Apparently they weren’t pushed quite far enough today, although today has definitely given me some fire to seriously look at what I can do to make a change for myself. It has also filled me with fear. There is a reason why I have not left until now. I am afraid that the next job will be the same. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is no better job, that the next one will eventually grind me down like this one, and the ones before it.

I updated my CV this afternoon in an effort to be positive and proactive. I also poured over my bank accounts and tried to calculate how long I could survive without a job should I reach the final straw. In what may seem a massive waste of time to others I spent a long while pouring over old Reddit threads full of people sharing stories of the day they decided they had had enough. But I don’t view it as a waste. Each triumphant post of a satisfying exit builds my courage. I’m not quite ready to pull the plug yet, but I think today was a turning point in terms of mentally preparing to move on to the next thing. Plans have begun, and I still hope in my heart to leave by a quiet dignified exit instead of the blaze of glory I fantasize about. And the Reddit posts have provided some new ideas if it really does come down to that!

So at what point is it ok to just quit?