Anxiety Almost Killed Me

Hi my name is Courtney. I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. Growing up I was always nervous and very reserved around new people. The anxiety started affecting my everyday life and mundane activities. I would overthink everything and my confidence was very low. I first got prescribed my anxiety medication in 2017. In the beginning I had minor side effects, mainly headaches. I started noticing over time I was increasingly gaining water weight. Even my physician at the time didn’t connect my weight gain to my medication. I fell deep into a depression over the next 3 years. I was working out and even cut out gluten/dairy, started eating more vegetables, drinking more water and focusing on getting more sleep. Nothing seemed to be working. It was very difficult to buy clothes and feel confident in something that made me feel “fat”. I started losing a little weight over time but I still was retaining water like crazy. I finally decided to speak with my doctor (new physician) and decided to taper off of my medication. In May 2021 I finally tapered off of my medication (which I had done in the past and I also resigned from my job). Few days go by and I start feeling very emotional, crying, dizziness, nausea and depression. It got so bad that I couldn’t get up to cook, clean, dishes or even stand long enough in the shower without feeling dizzy. I would post on my socialmedia/networking from my couch. I ended up having crippling social anxiety and feeling isolated. I kept thinking,”Is this worth it?” I made the decision to go back on my medication (lowest dosage) I was like enough is enough. I tried meditating, smoking marijuana and listening to music. The symptoms were too much to bare. I would constantly get negative thoughts. I felt trapped in my own body and wanted to give up. My boyfriend has been so supportive and patient. I would feel bad when I was fed up and frustrated. I would yell at him about little things. It was putting a damper on our relationship. We are in such a better place and getting stronger everyday. I’m also getting my strength back. I believe what you put into the world you get back. I recently launched my own business. I feel more resilient moving forward. Remember to check on people. You never know what someone is going through! Instagram: @Courtlashae5