A Message to The Villain: Flood the world with light
This is very raw. So I will advise getting a tissue. I am broken by what is happening in the world right now. I am sick to my stomach. But all I can do is write. So help me come up with a plan. As I sit here and cry. I love all of you, but we can’t keep going on like this anymore.
I wish I could put the world into a snow globe. Water and glycerin so I could make it all happen ploddingly. All the evil so I could rub it away, it’ll be my genie. I would wish for the thought of killing to turn into legends, myths and tales. Events would pause in words, and would only go on when you turn the page.
Please don’t turn the page.
I can’t ask why I live among someone who could pick up a gun. Pushing me towards the grave as if I needed to be wheeled. My final words like peanut butter in my mouth, stuck to the palate. Nothing goes in and out anymore as I die under their hands. They become like a god, proficient in wiping out what they do not like. Who they will not acquiesce.
So I am asking you. How long will you go on ignoring that there are people like this?
What can you do to help stop this anguish?
As the person reading this, do you walk around acting in ways you do not think about?
Do you have urges you don’t act on? Urges that you cannot say without shame.
Then that’s a sign we are doomed to stay with the creatures here. Hunting us down like weak deers drinking beer.
I find myself considering. What is the point of pouring into a world like this? No, not to the point of suicide. But I can’t build a house with materials like, solace, or consolation. I can’t keep the heat in with resources like tranquility in winter. Just to all be taken away again.
Gone are the days when my mind wasn’t trained on spotting inconsistent evil in the corner of my eye.
At an event.
A gathering.
A moment of debate.
You left it open. Your body is on display for someone to puncture. In their eyes you’re not human, just a human sized doll. So if you bleed it’s nothing but loose strawberry jam.
Now that you’re dead.
They all will celebrate.
Forget the belief and whether you agreed with him.
What matters is. His body is like yours, with an expiry date. People like you rewrite the date. You’ve got The Great Seal, a kings blood runs in your vein.
If you could be the person who pulled the trigger. You could wear the skin of the one who got shot. Then you could be multiple bodies. You could be the person watching. That’s how you start to feel again, enough to make a change within to shine your light. Blotting out the evil in your neighbours eyes.
*
So I am surprised at how safe we all still feel in this world. They took the children, the house, and the salary. The ones still living that’s another thing on the list. Put a bullet there and wash your hands, it’s all sorted.
All the things that make the hands on the clock turn. They took it and threw it in the bin, then watched it burn.
They grin Cheshire. They are not mad, just evil.
They are not mad. The prison won’t change them. A job won’t sterilise them. They need more than hot water to make them clean again. More than soap sods to hide the ugly tendrils snaking up our backs.
They are not a bunch of mason jars, they won’t crack with just prayers. You need the light! Someone who is inexperienced in the realm of evil thoughts.
Do you know anyone like this? That’s right. We are all doomed now.
Every time we turn on the news. We see another one shot. A son stabbing his father, the medication ran out.
Then there is us. Running around asking. How could this happen?
Why wasn’t anyone there to help?
That's right. We are doing this to ourselves.
It doesn’t matter whose face it was or whose hand held it.
The single truth to tip the scale is that we are feeding the beast and it will prevail.
So look down in the spiral.
Hypnotise yourself.
Let us all believe that there is good in us.
Yes I am angry.
I am angry at you and myself.
Wondering if there’s any point in reaching for my goals and pursuing a purpose.
I am sick to my stomach.
Sick of this life entering into my dreams, the sacred grounds of stillness.
Waking up not to the morning's gentle taste. But to a bitter reality. That the day before is still really happening.
A/N: I have nothing else left to say. Besides, thank you so much for reading if you got this far 🙏🏽💔
About the Creator
Caitlin Charlton
poetry too close to home
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Comments (11)
Sometimes it is difficult to move forward, and one is almost incapable of movement, groping for a "sacred ground of stillness" that appears to be just out of reach. Peace, my friend.
There's something powerful in how you're wrestling with these hard truths rather than turning away from them. Even in your anger and exhaustion, you're still asking the important questions, still reaching toward light. That questioning itself, that refusal to accept cruelty as normal, is a form of resistance.
This was a powerful piece with so much stark truth and emotion. "I can’t build a house with materials like, solace, or consolation." "You need the light! Someone who is inexperienced in the realm of evil thoughts." "Waking up not to the morning's gentle taste. But to a bitter reality. That the day before is still really happening." I feel these words deep in my bones. Every time there is a shooting it makes me cry for humanity. Every time it happens on a college campus, I'm a little more nervous about going to work. But this one, feels so much more real and close to home. I had friends at the event because they were preparing for Charlie to come to my campus later this month. It was only 2 hours away at a University I have visited many times. I'm watching the students separate into factions on both sides, some openly celebrating while others mourn. The tension is like a living organism, hunting us. I just keep praying that no one answers this violence with more violence.
You advised this is going to be raw, and it was! I often feel like you do - waking up with hopes and dreams to a bitter reality, so I stopped watching news and engage in converstations about things that make me feel bad. I don't know if it's the right move or not, but it helps with my mental and emotional health. Great work Caitlin! I hope you get a TS!
Powerful words, Caitlin. The world is on a one-way trip to self-destruction and I no longer believe there is a solution, no matter how many times. Every day, there seems to be an expression of someone's lack of care, concern, or belief in their fellow human beings. It is so sad. You have captured all of this brilliantly - as Top Story in my mind.
You are teaching awareness on what we must learn to do but is it really possible to do this. I just put my life in God's hands. Good job.
I totally understand what you are saying here. I agree people should not be killing others because of different viewpoints. But at the same point we can’t erase history and the things that some people say in public. All of this hateful talk needs to stop. We have public personalities who are out there spreading hate and advocating for violence. That needs to stop. Because as long as we have public personalities advocating for violence against people that they don’t agree with or see eye to eye with, than the killings are going to continue to escalate. We need a public discourse that is sensible and responsible. We can’t be reckless with what we are saying in public. I’m not saying that that excuses the person who kills the one who is out there spreading rhetoric, lies, and hate in their speeches. But we can’t be out there promoting violence because that’s just going to rile people up and make people angry. We have to be responsible for our actions and for what we speak and how we speak in public.
I think about these things daily, Caitlin, and when I do try to think about life goals and my hope for my children and my grandchildren, I feel the earth shifting and crumbling beneath my feet. The despair that I feel is a daily reality that medicine will not cure. Thank you for sharing your anguish. Perhaps if more of us would write thusly, the compassion and empathy that makes us human would begin to awaken again.
I don't mean to startle you, but it has always been like this///History is just repeating itself in different motions. Players are 'modern', play is the same. Man to man still is unjust. I feel your pain...I curse at the news. And go on doing the best i can. Hugs.
In America, A Gun has more rights than a child or a woman. It is absolutely awful and it is moving in that direction in the UK. Trump, Bannon, Farage, Johnson, Priti Patel, Liz Truss have rubber-stamped that it is OK to hurt, hate and kill people. I sympathise with you on this
I hear you, my friend. I'm still in shock at what happened. I mostly feel sad for his children. And yes, this is the world we live in. It's not nice at all. It's hell on earth. I hope you'll feel better soon. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️