A Journey Inward

A Journey Inward: Healing Through the Chaos of Anxiety
A heartfelt reflection on mental struggle, self-discovery, and the quiet courage it takes to return to yourself.

A piece of advice from my psychologist that I have never forgotten — a true gift on my journey of recovery:
“Try to engage in your hobbies during your free time and immerse your mind in them. Occupying yourself with something you love helps ease the weight of negative thoughts. And don’t forget that talking — especially with loved ones, whether family or friends — holds profound healing power. It’s not merely an exchange of words but a balm for the soul, making you feel that you are not alone in your struggle.”
He also added:
“On the path to recovery, it’s essential to understand and accept the flood of emotions and feelings overflowing within your heart—those that wrestle and clash with each other, seeking a safe and satisfying way out; a path that grants you inner peace and the comfort you long for.”

Amid these pages and this vast reservoir of knowledge — woven from diverse pens rich with roaring emotions — I place my pen, my companion in both days of ease and hardship, to tell, to narrate, to share my story with love and passion.
I have only the words my pen will weave, for I am often silent and indifferent...
I do not master the language of speech, for it tires me, and I do not want to get lost any further...
I want myself — to shake hands with myself...
I want to return.

Self-Knowledge: The First Answer in Life's Exam

There is something quietly beautiful in certain pieces of writing. Not merely words — but mirrors. Reflections of our weary souls, searching for light, for peace, for an answer strong enough to carry the weight of existence.

Life, as many have said, is not a paved road, nor a ready-made recipe. It is a test.
And every test demands preparation.
But this kind of preparation doesn’t come from textbooks or information — it requires something far deeper: to know yourself.

Yes, to turn inward.
To listen to a voice you may have long ignored — your true voice.
The one that has faded under the noise of the world, suffocated beneath expectations, disappointments, and fear.

But what if that first step — self-discovery — is blocked by psychological suffering?
What if the soul is too unsettled to reveal its truth?
What if your first inward gaze doesn’t bring peace, but leads you straight into buried pain, lingering anxiety, and wounds that bleed in silence?

This is the real challenge in the journey of self-growth:
You don’t always start from balance.
Sometimes, you start from below zero.
You begin while carrying panic attacks, chronic anxiety, or an unnamed fear of the unknown.
And this doesn’t lessen your worth — it magnifies your courage.

Surviving mental struggle isn’t the end of the journey — it may be the true beginning.
Because when you learn how to quiet your mind,
how to care for yourself amid chaos,
how to offer kindness to your own spirit —
only then do you begin to truly know yourself.

And in those quiet moments, answers begin to take shape.
Not magically, but through gradual awareness, silent maturity, and deep listening.

Every time you find calm after a storm,
every time you breathe deeply despite the fear —
you are laying another brick in the foundation of your new self.

The goal is not to always be strong —
but to always be honest with yourself.
To admit your pain and hold it gently.
To say, "I am hurting, but I will not surrender."

The self is not built in a single moment.
It is not discovered in one meditation.
It is a collection of realizations, heartbreaks, reconciliations, and personal growth.
And the closer you come to it, the more capable you become of facing life,
of passing its tests,
of continuing — with quiet resilience — even in the harshest of storms.

We may not hold answers to all the questions.
But when we know ourselves, we gain the power to ask the right ones.
And that changes everything.

Through my personal experience — one I hold sacred and close to my heart — I can say this:
If I could place it somewhere safe, I would do so with pride.
Because it’s not just a series of events,
but a compressed world of sensations and feelings,
shaped into one unique being.
Yes, the human being — no matter how complex, how mysterious — remains a singular miracle.
A miracle that the universe, in all its vastness, must stand before in reverence and awe.

And I — in this journey — am Ounsoul.
A being, a new voice…
Among these rich and unique harmonies,
I passed through and found a longing for a past
when I was a trunk swaying between the melodies of songs and the pure seas of poetry.
Yes, I seek an embrace — not to prove I exist,
for I do exist —
but to find a home for my soul and breath.
A warmth I lost
with each cold blow of barren frost.

And even if my suffering is silent, and my pain mine alone… I shall weave it into a few words and lay it upon a pure white page — hoping that all of it, or even just some, may finally leave me.