6 things that happen during recovery

Nothing can prepare you for deciding to take the step towards your recovery. Maybe you were forced to sober up or maybe you just woke up and decided to put your recovery first so you could stop putting everything else you love last. Maybe you hit rock bottom and all that’s left is to get your shit together... whatever it is, one day you’ll be so thankful that you took that first step. Here are some of the things you can expect to happen in those first few months:

1.) You find out who your friends are:

when you decide to enter your recovery, you will start finding that the friends you have surrounded yourself with likely only were hanging out with you because of your addiction— you need to remember that the people you spend the most time with are the people that shape who you are as a person— you will have to let people who don’t support your recovery go.

2)everything is a trigger:

grumpy ass kids = trigger. Heartbreak = trigger. Fuck up your supper = trigger. Get glared at by someone who doesn’t even know you = trigger. Everything and anything will make you feel the need to numb yourself out. Push through. Go for a walk. Watch home videos. Colour a picture. Be strong.

3) feelings fucking suck:

I once read that most addicts don’t use drugs and alcohol because they enjoy it but to mask some sort of trauma or pain or emotion they can’t handle. This was my BIGGEST downfall. I hated to feel anything. I still think every time something goes wrong immediately of getting high. It’s habit almost.

4)asking for forgiveness is hard :

Honestly I don’t even know how to describe this. The things we do as addicts are so inconceivable that you can’t forgive yourself for what you have done— let alone ask the people who were effected by it for forgiveness. Even when we ask for forgiveness it doesn’t always mean the person we are asking will be ready to forgive. Sometimes the damage is too much. Also- asking for forgiveness = a Trigger.

5) you will cry... a lot.

You’re going to be in a glass cage of emotion with no escape while you recover. You’re going to think about some shitty ass thing you did while you were on your path to destruction and you’re going to feel such self hate that you’re going to break down. It’s going to feel like your entire soul is shattering. Let it happen. Cry. Hell go out to a field and scream, let it out.

-6) It’s possible you could become addicted to something else

Food, your phone, tv, spending money, you’re going to replace the feeling of getting high with the rush of something else.... if you don’t... good on you cause I scroll amazon on my phone while eating pizza adding items to my cart like no ones business.

Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away, Hell you can’t even therapy it away. It’s always going to be there. It’s just there. You have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and learn through it and be better because of it. And then you have to run as fast as you can in the direction of your dreams and happiness and heal from the person you once were.

The beginnings going to be so hard and it’s probably why we relapse but it’s gonna get better. It has to....