4 Gaslighting Techniques That Erode Your Self-Worth

Gaslighting is a subtle yet severe form of psychological manipulation. It is used to dominate or control another person. Through gaslighting, an abuser can damage another’s self-worth. This is done by undermining their confidence, distorting their sense of reality, and making them doubt themselves. Gaslighting targets an individual's perception of themselves. This makes them question their thoughts, emotions, and memories.

Denying Reality and Shifting Blame

One of the primary techniques employed by gaslighters is the denial of reality. They manipulate situations to make their victims doubt their own experiences and perceptions. For example, a gaslighter will deny that an event occurred. They may insist that it happened differently from what the victim remembers. The consistent distortion of reality can lead the victim to question their own memory and judgment.

Gaslighters also shift blame onto their victims. In this way, they convince the victim that they are responsible for any issues. By attributing problems and conflicts to the victim's actions, gaslighters undermine the victim's self-esteem and instill in them a sense of wrongness. This gradually destroys self-worth.

Withholding Information and Isolation

Gaslighters will withhold information and deal in half-truths. This creates both a sense of dependency and confusion in their victims. They exclude their victims from important conversations, decisions, or events. When questioned, the gaslighter will claim that the victim lacked interest in being involved. This makes the victim feel disconnected and unsure about their place in a or given situation.

Isolation is another tool gaslighters use. By isolating victims from friends, family, and support networks, gaslighters gain more control over them. Being cut off from external validation and other points of view make the victim more susceptible to the gaslighter's version of reality. This causes the victim to feel trapped. It also reduces their confidence in their ability to make correct decisions.

Trivializing Feelings and Experiences

Gaslighters often trivialize their victim's feelings and experiences. In this way, they create an environment in which emotional expression is undermined and brushed off as invalid. For example, they will diminish their victim’s feelings by telling them that they are being too sensitive or irrational. By belittling emotional responses, gaslighters chip away at the victim's self-confidence and reinforce the idea that their feelings are not valid. In time, the victim begins to distrust their own feelings and reactions to things.

Additionally, gaslighters dismiss the victim's achievements. They do this by attributing their successes to luck or external factors rather than their skills and efforts. This constant devaluation of what their victim has to offer has a negative impact on self-esteem.

Creating Confusion

Gaslighters are adept at creating confusion. They contradict themselves, give conflicting information, or repeatedly change their stance on an issue over time. When confronted about it, they will deny and distort the truth further. This purposeful chaos causes victims to second-guess their understanding of situations and even their own intelligence.

As gaslighting intensifies, the victim's self-worth and agency plunges. The gaslighter's behavior becomes more and more unpredictable. This keeps the victim constantly on edge and makes them feel like they are ‘walking on eggshells.’ The victim lives in a state of heightened stress and alertness. They feel unable to navigate the situation or relationship. The constant state of uncertainty and confusion they live in has terrible consequences for their self-worth.

Gaslighting is a deeply destructive manipulation tactic that can have far-reaching effects on an individual's self-worth. Recognizing gaslighting techniques is the first step in protecting yourself from emotional pain. Rebuilding self-worth after experiencing gaslighting takes time and requires patience.

If necessary, seek professional help to break free from the grip of gaslighting. Trust Mental Health has a team of BIPOC therapists that offer therapy in California. Contact us today for a free 15 minute consultation.

FAQs

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation by which one person seeks to undermine another person's reality, causing them to doubt their perceptions, memories, and sanity. The term originates from the 1944 film "Gaslight," in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind.

What are some signs that I am being gaslit?

Signs of gaslighting include constant self-doubt, confusion, and anxiety. You may also question your memory or perception of situations. Other signs include feeling isolated from friends and family, stress, and relying heavily on the gaslighter for validation and guidance.

Can therapy help me recover from gaslighting?

Therapy can help you recover from the effects of gaslighting. It can help you regain your self-confidence, rebuild your self-esteem, and heal from the emotional scars of gaslighting.

Can gaslighters change their behavior?

While it is possible for people to change their behavior, gaslighting is a deeply ingrained manipulation tactic. Gaslighters often require a lot of self-awareness along with therapy to address and change their behavioral patterns and motivations.