3 Goals for Busy Women to Strengthen Self-esteem and Create a More Balanced, Fulfilling Life

Are you like a squirrel?

By that I mean are you constantly on the go? Trying to get things done? Do you feel that you are frantically trying to complete tasks, so you can take a break?

If you need a reset, to improve your perspective, and feel better about your life, then read on. As a busy homeschooling Mom, I’ve used these three tips to feel better about myself, and I’m convinced you can, too.

1. Challenge negative thoughts consistently

We all experience negative thoughts at one time or another. How we deal with them is important for our mental health. Because these thoughts can change how we see reality, we need to make sure they are real, sensible, and accurate.

We can see them in different ways because of our own personal biases.

Let me explain it this way.

My friend and I used to discuss what we called “the fat look”. We both felt fat, and so if anyone looked at us “funny” we would accuse the person of giving us the fat look. Like they were thinking “that woman is fat”.

But mostly, folk are living their lives, and they aren’t concerned with other people.

If we are in a house, we can only see out of our own windows. Our windows could be small and dirty - in that case, we are not going to get an accurate picture.

That’s what the situation with “the fat look” is about. We used to see it as something people did to us. But we don’t know what they could be thinking about. The fact is very few people think about anything but their lives, and things that directly concern them.

Since we all have these biases, they can affect our negative self-talk.

This is why we need to challenge our negative self-talk on a daily basis. We can make ourselves more aware of negative self-talk by being alert to it.

I found my brain got better at noticing negative self-talk as time went on.

Taking a note of when we say something negative will train our brain to be alert. Some people have a thought diary where they write down or make a voice note of the negative thought.

Then at a later time, they can look at what they thought and challenge it

2. Practice self-compassion daily.

Some people think of self-compassion as making excuses for yourself, wallowing in self-pity and being lazy. The truth is, in our busy world, we don’t make time to nurture ourselves. That nurturing is essential for the whole of our lives.

Taking a self-compassion break means we take a moment to say to ourselves, “Yes, today is a busy day and I am stressed. That’s part of life right now. Everyone has stressful days sometimes.

I give myself permission to take some calming deep breaths (or a break, an early night or some other relief)."

It doesn’t have to be stress, I used that because it’s a common problem. You might feel sad, depressed, or grieved. Whatever you are feeling, a kindness break helps.

That’s not all.

There have been lots of studies done on self-compassion. Researchers found that self-compassion can lead to:

* having lower anxiety levels

* improved life satisfaction

* improved motivation

* a growth mindset

Self-compassion is a great way to help you improve your life all around. Make it a part of your day and see the changes in your life.

3. Set and achieve small, incremental personal goals

Small wins? What’s the point?

We are all inspired by big wins. If you’ve gone travelling, or built your own house, or completed your master's degree - these are the big wins we admire.

First of all, the big wins start off with small steps. Small wins.

These are building bricks towards the big wins. Small wins build momentum, but they reinforce our beliefs that we can achieve our big goals.

The belief we can succeed. So going for the small wins and enjoying your achievements make a big difference in your self-esteem, giving it a healthy boost.

You may have heard of the SMART criteria. This stands for:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Time-bound

If you look at a goal that you can assess with this method, you can clearly see how you have reached it. Then, when you journal about achieving the goal you have set, it will boost your motivation.

Not just that, it will improve your overall happiness.

We all want a life that makes us feel like we can achieve our goals.

Self-esteem is important for every aspect of our lives. When we improve our own self-esteem and work on ourselves, our families also benefit. We are better; but our family’s mental health improves too.

I was told this by a counsellor I had, and to be honest, I was sceptical.

So when I could see my husband thinking about decisions more carefully, being more positive, I had to change my perspective.

Working on yourself doesn’t just improve your life, it improves everyone’s life. It’s a good feeling, knowing your work helps you, your family, even society.

Give these three strategies a try. Watch what happens to your life!