My Solar System Is Damaged

---by Shan used to have a solar system inside me.
Write ✍🏻 Shan wasn’t made of fire and gas like the real one.
It was made of people, moments, and the emotions they left behind.

Every planet was someone I loved.
Every orbit was a pattern I lived in.
Every moon was a memory that never truly left.

But now, my solar system is broken.


---

It started slowly.
A small crack in the orbit.
A slight dimming of one star.
I didn’t notice it at first. I thought it was just life—changing, shifting, as it always does.

But one day, I realized:
Something inside me had collapsed.


---

🌍 The Planets That Left Me

Mercuro, my planet of passion and quick words, once spun too fast, full of energy and life. It was my best friend, Rayyan. He brought fire into every conversation, made every joke feel like sunshine. But then he moved cities, and his orbit changed.

One day I looked up—and he wasn’t there.

Venura, the planet of beauty and silence, was my first love. Her presence was soft, like clouds hugging a storm. She held secrets I was never meant to understand. And when she left, she didn’t say goodbye.
She just disappeared from my system—like she was never real.

Terrina, my Earth, was home. It was my brother. My protector. My balance. Until he stopped calling. He got married, moved on, built his own galaxy, leaving me spinning alone.

One by one, the planets left.


---

And what about the sun?

The one that held everything together?

That was me.

But now, even the sun is tired.


---

💫 When Stars Forget to Shine

I used to find joy in the smallest things.
A song. A smile. A sky full of stars.

But now, I scroll through days like they’re endless nights.
Nothing sparks. Nothing glows.
The laughter I once knew feels like echoes from a dead star.

I’m surrounded by people—yet alone in my orbit.
I smile when they ask if I’m okay.
Because how do you explain that your universe is falling apart?


---

🌒 Black Holes of Memory

I tried to rebuild.

I drew new planets.
I lit new stars.
But nothing stayed.

Some memories became black holes.
They pulled everything into them. My energy. My time. My will to try.

I’d sit in bed, staring at the ceiling like it was the sky.
But no planets moved.
No galaxies danced.

Just emptiness.


---

☄️ The Asteroid That Hit Me

One night, I broke.

Not loudly. Not like an explosion.
More like an asteroid—quiet, sudden, devastating.

I had a panic attack in the bathroom.
Curled up on the cold floor, shaking, breathless.
I whispered to myself: “I can’t do this anymore.”

That’s when I knew.

My solar system wasn’t just damaged.
It was collapsing.


---

🌌 The Space Between Healing

But here's what I learned:

Stars don’t burn forever.
Even suns need time to rest.
Even galaxies collapse before they are reborn.

I stopped pretending to be okay.
I told my friend—I’m not alright.
I told my brother—I miss you.
I told myself—it’s okay to fall apart.

And slowly, very slowly…

Light returned.


---

🌱 Rebuilding My Universe

I didn’t fix everything.
Some planets are still gone.
Some moons are still cracked.

But I found new ones.

A girl at the bookstore who smiled when she saw my sketchpad.
A child in the park who asked if I believed in aliens.
A teacher who told me, “You have a universe in you.”

I started writing again.
Drawing again.
Breathing again.

The sun in me began to flicker.
And then… it started to glow.


---

🌤️ Final Message

If your solar system is damaged,
If your planets have drifted,
If your stars don’t shine like they used to—

Don’t give up.

You are still the center.
You still have gravity.
You still hold the power to rebuild.

Let the broken parts stay broken.
Let the light find its way back to you.

Because even the real universe began with darkness—
And look how beautifully it turned out.
Final Message

If your solar system is damaged,
If your planets have drifted,
If your stars don’t shine like they used to—

---by Shan Zada