Young Love With John and Raphael in Not as Brave as you.

Link to the previous story, "What Now?" This story can be read on its own.

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John's Point of View

Class let out a while ago, but me and Raphael were just leaving the building. He likes waiting for everyone else to leave first so he doesn't have to deal with crowds and what kinda boyfriend would I be if I left him there alone?

On our way back to our dorm, going on the usual path. He spoke. "John? Wo-would you be ok if I sto-oped and wrote a poem?"

I immediately agreed it's rare that Raphael ever directly asked for something, so I had to agree! I looked around "Raphael, where are you going to write? There are no tables or even benches nearby."

"I ca-an just sit on the gra-ass, but if you want to co-continue going that's fine." he stuttered.

"No no! It's fine to write the poem while you're inspired!" I encouraged.

A big heart-melting smile appeared on his face as he sat down on the grass and pulled on a notebook and pencil. Opening to the first page he started to write. I never thought much about his poetry, I'm not really one for written words but Raphael loves writing them so I should take some interest in them! I can't believe that we've been dating for almost a month and a half and I never read any of his poems! I'm such a bad boyfriend!

I looked over at him sitting on the grass in the shade of a tree, a gentle breeze blowing through his long hair. I sat down next to him watching his hand move across the notebook. He looked so peaceful and adorable!

I don't know how long I was staring at him but he looked up at me and sheepishly thanked me as he started to pack up.

"Can I hear it?" I asked, surprising the poet.

"It's not very good," he responded Sheepishly.

"Come on, I'm sure it's great!" I encouraged with a huge smile.

"O-ok," he responded giving in, before reading

"The sun.

Shining down,

Upon the world,

With it's

Eternal glow.

The sun.

Poking though

The leaves,

As they dance.

Dancing to,

The erratic flow,

Of the whims,

Of the wind.

Tranquility unpredictable.

Controlling,

The sun's glow.

Controlling,

Where it may,

Shed its light,

And allowing it,

To land,

Upon the ground

Below."

He finished, his voice growing more steady as he read more, getting lost in his words it was really beautiful both Raphael and his poem.

"That was great Raphael!" he shriveled and looked away blushing at my compliment. He always does that whenever anyone says something nice about him, he just isn't able to take a compliment! "Do you have any more?"

"This is a new book, that's the only one I have in it, but I have a stack of them in my room, if you want to read them..." he trailed off.

"That would be great!" I responded as we got up, then I realized something, "how do you have a whole stack of them? We only moved in like two months ago."

"I don't want my parents reading them," he responded.

"But your fine with me reading them? I don't have to look at them if you don't want me too," I wanted to hear more but I didn't want to pressure him into him showing me something really personal.

"Don't worry about it! This makes you happy and I want you to be happy!" I extended my hand to help him get up he took it. Once he was up I started talking again. "You know I kinda feel bad that I never looked at any of your poems."

We spent the rest of the walk-in silence. Once we got to his room he grabbed a tall stack of worn notebooks, there had to be at least two dozen!.

"Here they are... there not very good..." he warned me again, grabbing a book at random. I sat down on his bed and he sat so close to me that he was partially sitting on my lap.

"I'm sure their great! Just like the last one you said was bad," I reassured, my blue eyes meeting his green ones, eventually, blushing, he broke the eye contact and turned his attention to the book, he opened it and started reading.

"What is this feeling,

All warm and new?

What is this feeling,

Always centered around you?

I don't know What to think,

I don't like things that are new.

But I like this feeling.

How I feel around you.

But the feeling is scary,

But only becasue

It is new.

What is this feeling,

Always centered around you?

My heart starts racing.

But this time,

For once, it feels nice.

For

When I'm around you,

I feel safe and secure,

Something else that is new.

What is this feeling,

All warm and new?

But what can I say,

Except that I love you?"

I didn't know much about poetry but that poem was really adorable!

"hey, Raphael?" I asked, "who were you writing about?" I half joked.

"I-it's about you, John," he turned his crimson face away from me.

This confused me because it was dated a little over three years ago! When I asked about that he got all embarrassed. "I didn't ha-have the courage to ask you out, I didn't want to lose you as a friend" he admitted. I was once again stunned by the power of his anxiety and how much power it holds over him.

"I can't believe you were able to have a crush on me for more three years without telling me! Was bearly even able to go a week before asking you out!"

"I'm not as brave as you are John," he sighed. He looked back at me, confused. "For someone who’s not that brave, you're letting me read your poems and these seem like they get pretty personal, that's a whole different kind of brave," he blushed as I pulled him into a hug and kissed his forehead. "Even I'm not that brave," I whispered into his ear.

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Both poems were written by me and can be read here:

This feeling

Sun Shining through

If you like this story or the poem? I have others in this collection, and I have and several different series that I am working on, as well as a poetry collection. I keep a google doc housing summaries of each story and all of the installations that I've posted in an easy to navigate google doc: Click Here

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~~Ben Ray