Virtual dating

Online dating is a resort for most LGBTQIA+ Kids or people to finding love in today’s world. As we all know social media is portrayed to be a place of great danger but for many it’s the only cape from the harsh reality they live in.

My friend who was 15 at the time met a girl who was 16 on Snapchat it was an accidental add. They started speaking and immediately clicked and had a shit ton of things in common. In a span of two weeks they started FaceTiming eachother and calling frequently they became very close and she told me about her.

I was really happy for her as she has found someone who made her happy. Then after about a month of them knowing each other my friend told me they started dating. But she didn’t seem to thrilled about it overtime. I had always questioned why in my head. “Why isn’t she happy?” “Why isn’t she satisfied with what she has?”.

I personally talk a lot about meeting my online friends in person and we go out and stuff and that visibly upsets her as she doesn’t have such opportunity. It saddens me to know im the only friend she has apart from her online girlfriend of course.

All that aside I decided to ask her why she doesn’t seem as happy as she did at the start of their relationship anymore. And she talked a lot about how far away she lives and how she wants to meet her but her parents wouldn’t let it due to how overprotective they are. I consoled her about it and made her feel better by telling her that “in a few years you would be able to start working and if you guys’s relationship is for real. You would definitely still be together”

She had shown me some of their texts and a lot of L bombs were in their chats. And I realised they mostly texted and not face time, once again because of her strict parents. Plus she was unfourtunate enough to be sharing a room with two other siblings. Sorry I meant a small cramped, and suffocating room (as she described) with her insufferable, and nosy siblings. A boy who is older and one girl who is older.

But she at least had the freedom to be able to come to mines whenever she wanted. Back to the plot. I could tell most of my friend’s happiness came from this new relationship she had and I was really happy for her.

5 months later and they were still together, I would be honest and say I was a bit shocked because I never see online relationships that last. She would tell me about the future they had planned together, how many kids they wanted to have, their dream wedding, dream house, how she would leave her homophobic and religious family behinds to chase her happiness. My friend was soo happy I didn’t think anything could crush that for her.

Here comes the heartbreak. Her partner decided to break up with her because “her family wouldn’t be ok with her dating a black girl and she doesn’t want to hurt her family. Needless to say I was very upset for her reason. After reassuring my friend that nothing would make them break up and that she loves her to death.

Here comes the point that no one talks about how blissful virtual dating could be, or about the heartbreak you would experience. People are too quick to say “but it wasn’t a real thing”

My friend spiralled into months of depression, she developed special anxiety and started loathing herself. I did everything to reassure her that she want the problem.

I was secretly the other person, I was just trying to her because I developed feelings for my friend. But I realised I wasn’t doing it the right way. I wanted to think of something that would make her hate the online personnel I had embodied. How did we FaceTime? I never said the other person showed their face. Except for the fake pictures I got from a specific Pinterest persona.

Today is the one year remembrance of my friend. She committed suicide a year ago, I guess I could call her my ex girlfriend? I really did love her.