The Bold and the Fabulous

The art of embracing our true selves is something that we should be doing unapologetically. For yours truly, the journey from hiding the real me to being out and proud was a difficult one. I'm going to share my own personal story and how I'm living my life today as a gay man.

I grew up in Arlington, Texas and the oldest of three children. While the majority of my childhood was filled with fun, friends, and happiness, behind closed doors, I was dealing with something that was and still traumatizing to this day. My now estranged parents were mentally and physically abusive towards me. I was born in this country, but they were originally from Liberia, which was located in West Africa. One thing people should know about Liberian parents and African parents in general is that they'll do whatever it takes to make your life miserable. For example, being yourself is something that they don't like. Also, they are too reactionary. Let's say that I forgot to make my bed before heading to school. They would yell and hit me. I didn't know how to stand up to them and if I did, they would in return, yell and use physical force towards me. Another thing that African parents would do towards their children is belittle them. Unfortunately, I was the victim of their verbal attacks of me, such as name calling, raising their voices, and other put downs. These events led me to having my confidence and self-esteem go down.

When I was in the first grade, I knew something was different about me but didn't know what it was. I realized that I was attracted to the same sex. No one, not even my parents or anyone, knew about this. To be fair, I grew up in the 90s, at a time where being gay was taboo. Had I came out as gay back then, I would've been severely beaten, bullied, sent to conversion therapy, or worse. I hid my sexuality and pretended to be straight around people for about the next 20 years. I felt a sense of guilt that I couldn't be myself around the people who cared about me.

Fast forward to February 20, 2012. I was about to do something that would lift a huge weight off my shoulders. On the aforementioned day, I was in the library working as a library assistant because it was my turn to work there. For context, I was about three months away from graduating from college. I came out to a few friends before officially coming out on Facebook. While many of my friends were proud of me, others ended up shunning me completely. Nonetheless, I felt like a weight had finally come off my shoulders and didn't have to hide who I really was anymore.

2020 changed our daily lives forever, due to the Covid-19 pandemic. It was the same year that I wrote an open letter to my estranged parents one last time, finally coming out to them and also accused them of mistreating me horribly all of those years. I'll post a link down below to that open letter and let's just say that it didn't go well. My estranged mother and sister were furious at me for calling out the toxic behavior. I find it hypocritical that my estranged mother loves tearing people down, but when she gets called out for her behavior, she starts playing the victim, which she loved to do, instead of apologizing to me. She was also a manipulator and a bully. African parents never take accountability for their wrongdoings and instead puts the blame on others. They believe that their children aren't owed an apology, because they're not deserving of one.

https://shopping-feedback.today/families/an-open-letter-to-my-so-called-parents%3C/a%3E

In 2021, I made a difficult, yet necessary decision to end an almost 20-year friendship with someone I've known since my sophomore year of high school. This person was a great friend to me, and we both got along well. His name was Nathan, and he was also very religious. So, one day, I was checking up on him to see how he was doing and when I told him I was gay, he wasn't too pleased with me. He responded to the effect of "Being gay is a sin." You know, the typical line most Christians use when they disapprove of gay people. After 20 years of friendship, I cut all ties with him. It was for the best, because I couldn't be friends with someone who was homophobic. He couldn't be my friend and bigoted towards me at the same time. I have no problems with religious people, but I dislike it when some of them continuously use that as an excuse to not like us.

Now in 2025, I unapologetically live my life as a queer, black man, despite the current administration doing whatever it takes to erase and deny our existence. I don't regret coming out, because I can finally embrace my true self. I wouldn't care if people stopped being my friend because of my sexuality. I won't and will never apologize for being myself. Focusing on those who love and accept me is all that matters. I saw something on Pinterest recently and it said the following:

"Woke just means that you give a damn about other people."

This statement is 100% correct. Call me woke all you want, but I refuse to let my fellow LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters be bullied or to be told to hide their true selves from everyone in order to appease others. I want them to live productive and healthy lives without having to fear being physically harmed wherever they are. I don't want them to endure discrimination in any aspect. It doesn't cost anyone a thing to have compassion, dignity, and respect towards people you have never even met. Regardless of what side of the political spectrum you stand on, everyone, including LGBTQ+ individuals, deserve to feel protected, loved, and respected. Those are never optional and if me saying these things make me woke because I care about other people, then so be it. I'll always speak and stand up for those who are unable to do both. This is what being a decent human is all about.

Being gay, trans, non-binary, or other is not a "trend" or "phase". It's just part of who we are. Respecting one's pronouns is not a personal attack towards anyone's beliefs. It's a matter of decency and respect. Your gender identity isn't the government's or anyone else's to decide.

No matter how many executive orders the President signs, we will NOT go back in the closet. We are here to stay and aren't going anywhere anytime soon. We're going to turn our anger into action. Our voices will be even louder. We will continue to speak up and stand up for the hopeless and voiceless. Our lives matter and there are more than two genders. Being silent will never be an option for us.

Stay woke, my friends.