Monogamy in THIS Economy? Why More People Are Choosing Polyamory

Let’s be real: dating is hard enough when the cost of living is skyrocketing, housing is a nightmare, and emotional bandwidth is at an all-time low. So what if one partner just isn’t cutting it? What if we stopped expecting them to do it all?

Welcome to the world of polyamory — or more broadly, ethical nonmonogamy — a relationship style that’s gaining visibility as more people question the traditional scripts of love, commitment, and what it means to build a life together.

Despite popular belief, polyamory isn’t just about having multiple partners or chasing novelty. It’s about honest communication, intentional connection, and reimagining love outside of scarcity. In this blog, we’ll explore what ethical nonmonogamy really is, why more people are embracing it, and how to do it well.

What Is Polyamory, Really?

Let’s get one thing clear right away: polyamory is not cheating. It’s not deception, betrayal, or “keeping your options open” behind someone’s back. Polyamory — from the Greek poly (many) and the Latin amor (love) — is the practice of having multiple romantic or sexual relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

That makes it a form of ethical nonmonogamy (ENM), an umbrella term that includes various non-exclusive relationship styles like open relationships, relationship anarchy, swinging, and more. What sets ENM apart from cheating is a foundation of honesty, communication, and mutual respect.

In a healthy polyamorous dynamic, all parties are aware of each other and agree to the arrangement. There may be one “primary” partner, multiple “nesting” partners, or a fluid, non-hierarchical network — the structure varies, and that’s kind of the point. There’s no one way to “do” polyamory, as long as consent and clarity are front and centre.

Why Are More People Choosing Polyamory?

Polyamory isn’t just a TikTok trend or a buzzword for the chronically online. It’s a reflection of real, tangible shifts in how people approach love and connection. So, what’s behind the rising interest?

1. We’re questioning tradition.

For many, the one-size-fits-all model of lifelong monogamy just doesn’t… fit. As society becomes more open to different lifestyles, more people feel empowered to build relationships that align with their actual needs — not just cultural expectations.

2. Economic and emotional realities are changing.

Let’s be honest: it’s a rough time to depend on just one person for everything — emotional support, financial partnership, cohabitation, childcare, the list goes on. Some polycules (groups of people in a shared polyamorous network) form intentional communities, share resources, or offer more flexible family models.

3. Emotional diversity is valid.

The idea that one partner must fulfil every need — emotional, sexual, spiritual, intellectual — can be deeply limiting. Polyamory acknowledges that different relationships can nourish us in different ways, and that doesn’t have to be a threat.

4. It’s resonating with marginalized communities.

Queer, neurodivergent, and disabled folks are often leading voices in the polyamory space — perhaps because many already live outside normative relationship models. For some, polyamory offers a space that values autonomy, mutual care, and emotional nuance.

No, It’s Not Just About Sex: Debunking Common Polyamory Myths

Let’s address the elephant in the room — or rather, the misconceptions that come up every time someone says, “I’m polyam.”

❌ “It’s just an excuse to sleep around.”

Not quite. While some people explore ethical nonmonogamy for sexual freedom, polyamory is about forming meaningful relationships, not collecting hookups. Some polyamorous people are asexual. Some have sex with only one partner. It’s about what works for you.

❌ “Polyam people can’t commit.”

Actually, it takes an enormous amount of commitment to maintain multiple honest, emotionally rich relationships. Commitment in polyamory doesn’t mean exclusivity — it means showing up with intention, care, and integrity.

❌ “Jealousy means it’s not working.”

Jealousy is human. It shows up in monogamous relationships too. In polyamory, the difference is that jealousy isn’t taboo — it’s a signal to check in, not a sign that love has failed. Many polyamorous people actively work on emotional resilience and communication rather than avoiding jealousy altogether.

How to Make Polyamory Work: Tips for Healthy Non-monogamous Relationships

If you’re curious about how to start polyamory — or you just want to understand how people make it work — here are some foundational tools:

✅ 1. Communication, communication, communication.

This isn’t just a cliché. Being polyam means navigating complex emotions, needs, and boundaries — and you must be able to talk about them openly and honestly. That includes awkward conversations, regular check-ins, and listening with the intent to understand.

✅ 2. Know your boundaries and limits.

Are you okay with your partner having sleepovers with others? Do you want to know the names of their other partners? Are there health and safety boundaries to set? These agreements should be made together, and they can evolve over time.

✅ 3. Get comfortable with compersion.

Compersion is a word used in polyamorous communities to describe the joy of seeing your partner happy with someone else — the opposite of jealousy. It might not come naturally at first, but it’s a mindset that can be deeply freeing.

✅ 4. Address jealousy with compassion.

Jealousy isn’t a red flag — it's a cue to explore your needs. Are you feeling neglected? Insecure? Vulnerable? Work through these feelings instead of weaponizing them. Therapy (especially with a polyamory-aware therapist) can help.

✅ 5. Don’t copy-paste monogamy rules.

Polyamory isn’t monogamy with more people. It often requires rethinking everything from scratch — what does commitment look like? What does “cheating” mean in your dynamic? Build something authentic, not just more complicated.

Is Polyamory Right for You?

Maybe. Maybe not. That’s okay.

Polyamory isn’t “better” than monogamy — it’s just different. The key is to choose your relationship style consciously, based on your values and desires, not out of fear or pressure. If monogamy works for you, beautiful. If it doesn’t, you’re not broken — and you’re not alone.

What matters most is building relationships based on honesty, care, and agency — whatever shape they take.

Final Thoughts

In a world where everything — from jobs to rent to emotional labor — feels stretched thin, more and more people are seeking connection that’s intentional, expansive, and rooted in truth. Polyamory offers one path toward that kind of love, if you’re willing to do the work.

So no, it’s not just “monogamy in this economy.” It’s about reimagining how we love, support, and grow — together, in whatever form that takes.