Cheers to Our Queer Youth

Dear Queer Kiddo,

I’m not going to lie and say that writing this is easy. Or that being queer in the world as it is now, is easy either. But gosh is it special and meaningful. Just hear me out.

You are so special. Your identity is a superpower. No one can ever take it away from you. Even when they try too hard and you feel like the world is just crumbling around you like a grave caving in. But do not bury yourself. And even if you do for a time, know that there is a beautiful community with glitter shovels who will dig you out and lift you up. We will lift you up. Because you deserve to feel the sun shine across your face every day. You deserve to grow and bloom and live in this world. You were born for a reason. Your existence is not meaningless or a mistake, I promise.

You know, as I mentioned, writing this isn’t easy. It’s a combination of “how do you find the right words that will be shield enough to this world”, and what I needed to hear as a queer kid myself. I think what I wish for you most is that you find a mentor. Someone who will take you under their wing and look out for you. Someone who can guide and advise you, someone you can turn to without fear of judgement. So you don’t have to feel that you’re going through this alone.

Sometimes that person might be a family friend, or even a member in your family. But often times it is someone you meet by chance, perhaps a teacher or someone you meet at work. Of course, make sure you actually know them. If it’s someone you chat with online and discuss to meet in person, take someone with you, meet in a public space, and let others know where you are. Always be safe. Sadly there are people out there who look to take advantage. Please be careful.

I was lucky to meet my mentor through my university program. I studied to become a teacher and when I did my practicum at a school, my mentor teacher actually became my mentor in more than just my education. To see a butch lesbian teacher facilitate fun learning in a class of pre-teens was so validating. Knowing that she could be her authentic self and that it wouldn’t impact her quality of work (which it shouldn’t), nor would it negatively affect her relations with her students and staff was affirming. She was also probably the first visibly lesbian adult in my life now that I think of it. I was 19. Well into my own identity, but had done it alone. Seeing her success and unashamed authenticity showed me a future where I could be successful unashamed. Her existence offered me validation when I had none from the adults in my life.

As a teacher now myself, I strive to do what she did for me. And more if I can.

I hope you can find that person. The safe adult you can turn to, who will guide you. Someone who will show you that your future is important and possible.

And hey, kiddo, if what you want your future to look like changes from today to next week? That’s so totally okay. If your identity changes, your pronouns, your name, your family- it’s okay. And it will be okay.

Our existence as humans is fluid. Gender, sexuality, all of it is fluid. It ebbs and flows and trickles. Just like we aren’t the same size and appearance as when we are born, our minds and bodies change too. As long as you feel the best that you can about yourself and who you are, that’s what matters.

Sometimes that means you might try on different names. Maybe you’ll want to add parts to yourself, or take them away. I heard recently this saying that while we were made perfect, we weren’t completed. It’s up to us how we want to complete ourselves.

Whether you believe in a creator or not, I think that’s beautiful. And however you decide to go on your journey of self discovery and affirmation, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, then it’ll be beautiful.

So, take your time to discover that beauty. Do it at your pace, on your terms. You are the driver of your life. Remember that.

I know that sometimes it may feel like you have no control. And if you really are in one of those situations, know that it won’t be like this forever. Remember? Fluid. Time flows and things change. If you’re in a tricky situation and feel helpless, listen to your new queer elder/mentor:

It will be okay. It won’t be like this forever. Don’t give up. I see you, and your struggle. But you are a resilient human being. Your life and identity matter. And it will get better.

It may not happen right away, and there will probably be more bumps along the way. But you’re not alone in this. Those bumps? Are training you for your glow-up. And gosh I can’t wait to see you shine so bright.

Cheers to your glow-up.

Love always,

Oneg