Accept who you are, respect where you have been, and expect how to get where you are going.

Pride holds two polar opposite meanings. Pride, defined as unreasonable self-esteem and haughtiness isone of the deadly sins. In contrast, pride is also considered a deep-seated, dignified and noble gift of grace, that offers a feeling of satisfaction associated with time, place and circumstances or people.

In MacBeth, Shakespeare describes ' a keen-eyed flacon able to see what is beneath while towering in her pride of place', seen from the highest point of the flight. Pride is often born when natural talent, experience and effort expended in education, allow for the highly successful completion of a goal, be it physical, mental or acquiring a possession. Pride is based on unique abilities and improves self-esteem and confidence.

Pride is felt within a community. Parents feel pride in their children. People who are house proud have homes that gleam, and well-tended gardens that have the look of a rose that is looked upon. A person can be proud of themself, yet self-worth and esteem can be affected by social peer pressure. Many individuals feel greater pride and confidence when they follow fashion trends in clothing and appearances, often through self-mutilation, such as by eyebrow tweezing, tattoos and piercings.

Efforts to destroy pride, generated within individuals and communities who are different, in faith, belief and moral convictions, have been made through history. Pride is currently a label associated to identify the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex (LGBTQI) community. It takes courage, and a great act of bravery to be true to and respect your inner-self and the term provides the community a means to resist discrimination and violence.

Biologically, the term pride is used to describe an immature species of lamprey, the first jawless fish that lived in oceans older than the dinosaurs. In legend, lampreys, were called the nine-eyed eel, for the seven gill slits, one nasal aperture and one eye on each side of the body. The medieval Latin name for lamprey “lamprid” evolved into pride.

Lampreys epitomize the positive and negative aspects of pride. Lampreys have gained enormous esteem, with a culturally important spiritual significance. Lampreys often appear in family coats of arms throughout Scotland, France, Finland, Latvia, Belgium and Spain. Lampreys were a culinary delicacy, served to nobility. King Henry 1 was said to have died ‘from a surfeit of lamprey.” Perhaps he had hoped to become what he ate, unaware that lamprey slime is poisonous. The lamprey mouth has a round sucking disc with rows of dagger-like teeth and a rasping tongue armed with teeth used to suck blood from fish upon which they prey. The self-serving, blood-thirsty behaviour is the negative aspect of pride, associated with a sense of superiority.

The term pride describes a group of Lions, the fierce, top of the food chain regal beast that live and hunt as a family, under the guidance of the female who nurtures its unity and stability. Shakespeare used pride to refer to the excitement of the female animal appetite.

My mother gracefully modelled self-esteem without false pride or false humility. Mom’s heritage was Sicilian. Her lineage had endured threats because of who they were, how they were raised and what they believed. My Sicilian ancestors likely had Jewish roots.

The Greeks brought Jewish slaves to Sicily, which was later conquered by the Romans, Normans and the Moors, who treated Jews with relative tolerance. In 1492. Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain attempted to purify the kingdom and establish the supremacy and jurisdiction of the Catholic church. Jews were persecuted by a restrictive and discriminatory policy. Their property was confiscated and they were ordered to live in ghettos. Jews were later accused of being responsible for the French fly disease, syphilis, that spread through sex, leaving survivors weak and disfigured. Research shows this was likely an unexpected discovery that Columbus brought to Europe. Sicilian jews who failed to convert to Christianity were imprisoned as galley-slaves or ordered the death, in some cases, through execution by public burning.

An evolutionary lesson is deeply ingrained in many cultures: when there is adversity, adapt to face struggles. Throughout the history of mankind, individuals and many communities have had to tap into an open intellect and determination that are the foundations of pride.

When my dad was laid off, under the pressure of adversity, my mother turned coal into diamonds. Mom was a determined and confident leader and a pioneer and respected but did not always follow what others did. She borrowed money from her dad and started a family business. She successfully became one of those rare women entrepreneurs of the time. She attended to her unspoken voice and presented her unique interpretation of ‘family dining’.

Two years later, when I was 10, tragedy struck. My dad was killed by a drunk driver. Mom’s determination did not waver. She spoke to my two brothers and me, her 10,11 and 12-year-old children, about working together as a family. She trusted we were ready to step up and work hard. This altered my life path. I needed to put grief aside and do whatever was necessary to help the family survive. I tapped into a source of power within, doing all that I could, to face struggles by working hard to survive. That was the first time I felt determination.

As a child I did not know pride. I felt well-loved and accepted even though I was a queer member of the community. Queer, not according to the gender related definition, but according to a local social norm. My family were Italian/Greek immigrants living in a German community. Being a brown-eyed, curly black-haired child, who worked every day in the family business, was not the norm in the blue-eyed, blond community.

I discovered pride over the following years. A strange power within me that told me I had something to offer. I was able to listen well, and learned to read social situations. I came to see myself as a noble Cinderella, who was not afraid to scrub floors, lug heavy bags, do bookkeeping and banking, cook, clean and whatever else twas needed to help my family survive. I could do it, would do it and should do it. My personal sense of self-esteem was instilled by the accomplishments of not only myself, but of my family.

The next summer I almost drown. I became determined to learn how to swim. It was not a choice, it was needed for survival.The early morning lessons were at an outdoor local pool with 8-year-olds. I remember the embarrassment of being with little kids and the shock of diving into cold water. Eight-year-olds have no nerve endings. I quickly progressed and still feel proud that I can face my fear of water.

Soon after I knew that I needed to gain literacy skills. Parental involvement in education was non-existent. To realize my goal, I remember asking my teacher for help. She gave me the book, 'Grammar is Important.' I independently studied the chapters and did the exercises. I wanted to know how to express myself.

Later, in university, I remember feeling like I was sweating blood as I studied how to write scientific reports following a ‘how to’ book and deciphering the prescribed formula. The struggle was real, but the effort resulted in top marks. The ability to express myself gave me a sense of confidence. Then I became angry. Were the tools to have pride something that could be taught? Did I have bad teachers or a bad education, or bad parents? Then I realized the struggles had been given me the opportunity to demonstrate the courage needed to learn, discover and gain strength. \

In conclusion, I am proud that I have learned to trust my skills and abilities, honed by honest efforts. I give thanks for the opportunities I've had to recognize my strengths, weaknesses and limits. I am comforted by the many experiences that have made me familiar with the growing pains that accompany the pressure of new and different struggles. The actual feeling of pride is ephemeral, but the self- respect, gained by surviving and overcoming struggles, has helped me to accept who I am, where I have been and how to calculate the steps needed to get where I am going.