Zen Ambition and Ideals.

Although things change

By circumstances, choices, fate, and past mistakes

Callousing our ears to the voices of love and opportunity

Doesn't allow our lives to mend or change.

Evil or good?

For love or hate?

Gain and loss.

How does it matter? Why does it matter?

Illogical and irresponsible, these emotions are intolerable.

Jokingly, I used to reprimand myself for having these feelings because I wanted to be a

King, Although what I truly desired was

Love, affection, admiration, and camaraderie.

I admit I am just a man, neither infallible nor almighty.

Milestones won't get people to love me.

Nor will the

Omniscience that eludes my grasp to control the world's unexpected and often unwelcomed tribulations.

Queer, in my desire to overcome the shame of my history, I pursued the pride of achievement.

Respect is most significant, and the people I choose will commit.

So. Will the woman I choose to love gaze at me with utmost adoration?

Timing and endurance: Will she endure the hardships life throws our way?

Understanding. Will the woman I choose to protect understand I, too, am flawed, and though with all my might, there are things I will fall against.

Victory, When I obtain it and when it disregards my efforts. Will she reject me when I fail?

Xenogamy. How will our thoughts and ideas affect each other?

You know, God? I don't, and I will only when the time comes. Instead, I'll rest and go into

Zen, and improve me again. Less through accomplishments and more peace with myself. How would I have her love me without first loving myself well?