Your Gone

I want to scream, I want to lose control and not care who's around to see. I want to cry until I can't breath! I want to understand why this hurts so much and nothing will take it way! Why can't I open my mouth to let everyone know I'm not okay!

I've gone through so much in life but this takes the cake. How can everything keep going when all I want to do is stop! I want to curl up and forget how to breath. I want to lose the last memory!

How can I be strong for someone else when I want to be weak. I am weak. I can't stop replying the day in the hospital. I can't stop telling myself it was normal you weren't waking up.

I had so much hope in my heart that you were going to talk, you were going to survive.

Watching you struggle to breath. Everyone looked so normal, so calm. Your last breath almost brought me to my knees. How could you be looking at me but you won't breathe.

I wanted someone to help you!

I wanted them to save you!

You were already gone and I couldn't speak.

Why is this happening to me? But wait I can't be so selfish…

Your two beautiful little kids will be heartbroken not to mention your wife!

How can I be so affected when you were their life!

I know it's crazy and maybe pathetic…

I just can't get it out of my head!

I wish it was a nightmare I wish you were there tomorrow telling me it's alright!

I wish we were right back talking about our dreams!

And laughing because we were the same!

I know I can't talk to you!

I know I can't see you!

What I do know is this, I will give everything in the world to make our dream come true!

I'm going to miss you as will they!