You Were Never Really Listening

Your True Direction

By R. T. Garner

A reflection on what it feels like to be unheard when you need it most.

Read more here Are You Really Listening?

We say “I’m fine” because it’s easier.

Because the truth — the real, raw, bleeding truth — makes people shift in their seats, glance at their phones, and mutter something meaningless like, Stay strong.

But what happens when we stop saying what they want to hear?

What happens when we tell them the truth — and they still look away?

You Were Never Really Listening

I used to say I’m okay

because it was what you wanted to hear.

Because the truth — the real, raw, bleeding truth -

would have made you shift in your seat,

glance at your phone,

mutter something meaningless like, Stay strong,

as if strength alone could hold me together.

I used to lie to protect you.

To keep you from feeling the weight of my reality.

Because every time I tried to let you in,

I watched your face change —

your eyes darting away,

your hands fidgeting,

your mouth forming words that held no meaning.

You’ll be fine. You just need to think positive. It could be worse.

As if I hadn’t already drowned myself in forced gratitude,

as if I hadn’t already begged my own brain

to just stop eating me alive.

But you didn’t see that.

You never did.

You didn’t see the war inside my head,

the battle I fought every second of every day —

not with swords or shields,

but with thoughts that wouldn’t let me breathe,

memories that played on a loop,

a voice that whispered, You don’t belong here.

And some days, I believed it.

Some days, I felt it in my bones,

a weight so heavy I wondered if I would ever stand again.

But I still got up.

I still moved.

I still played my part in the world you live in,

the world where pain is something to be hidden,

where suffering is only acknowledged

when it’s quiet enough to ignore.

I still laughed in the right places.

I still said, I’m just tired when exhaustion wasn’t the word —

when what I really meant was, I don’t want to do this anymore.

I still carried the weight alone,

because every time I tried to set it down,

you looked the other way.

And when I finally stopped lying,

when I finally let the truth slip through my shaking lips —

No, I’m not okay.

No, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

No, I don’t want to wake up tomorrow.

You cleared your throat.

You glanced at the time.

You patted my shoulder and said, Don’t be so negative.

As if a brighter outlook could erase the years of darkness.

As if forcing a smile could make the pain disappear.

As if I hadn’t already tried that,

every day,

for as long as I can remember.

And that’s when I knew —

you never really wanted the truth.

You never wanted to see the fight it took

just to sit across from you and pretend to be whole.

You never wanted to hear the weight in my voice,

because if you did,

then you might have to carry a piece of it too.

And that’s when I realized —

you were never really listening at all.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.

Mental health struggles are real, and you deserve support. If you or someone you know is struggling, here are resources that can help:

• Crisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline — Call or text 988 for 24/7, free, and confidential support.

• The Trevor Project — Support for LGBTQ+ youth in crisis. Call 1–866–488–7386.

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) — Mental health education and support resources.

• SAMHSA Helpline — Substance abuse and mental health assistance. Call 1–800–662-HELP (4357).

Your Voice Matters.

Have you ever felt unheard when you needed someone the most? Let’s talk about it in the comments. And if this piece resonated with you, consider clapping, sharing, or following for more.

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