"You Promised"

You said you wouldn't do it

You said you were going to move on

Yet, you did it anyways

You disappeared for months

My heart broke

You died without me

You tried without me

Now I lay here writhing

You left too soon

Your death created a void within me

It cannot be filled

Not with words nor actions

When I lost you

I lost a part of me too

I lost my hope in living

I cry for you every night

I cut

I starve

I binge

I bandage

I live in harmony with my depression

with my eating disorder

It's not healthy, that I know

But I can't help it

Once I knew you were gone

It was over for me

My rock

My world

My strength

When I fell you caught me

With those arms of steel

Looking at me with those butter soft eyes

The moments we had

Shared and special

The moments we laughed

The moments we cried

I remember once

I began to cry

You held me close

I remember your words

"Your pain is mine too

You cry, I'll cry too

You die, I die too"

But my depression

It was contagious

You caught it,

And it killed you

I withered away

Almost to nothing

But then I realized

The day I met you

I kept trying to push you away

You kept asking

Then I opened up,

and began to trust again

But it wasn't your fault

It was mine

For now you're gone

Forever Gone

Forever Dead

Forever Loved

Forever Remembered

You promised me

You promised to come back

To keep trying

and yet here we are...

It never meant anything

Not a word of it...