You aren’t here

You were just gone

No warning

No goodbye

Not even a note

You are gone

Your body, distended by fed pain

Pail and clammy from worry

The aches and pains of weight

You are gone

The head, that never let up

Scarring and wounding every minute of every hour

That never loved or adored anything

You are gone

The souls sheath that withered and flaked away

Encased in a hard outer shell

Struggling with the weight of cast iron armour

You fell away and I am here

Trying to love and be loved

Dealing and coping with pain

No longer weighed down in sloth by thoughts or actions

I am here, you are gone

But I still love you

I still cherish our moments together

I still weap for the pain you felt

I am you,

Though you can never be me

Never feel what I live

Or love how I love

You are gone, but not forgotten

My old friend

The lover who never showed love, but protected lovingly

Who held me and consoled me as clung to each piece of him that fell away

I love you, but you are gone

I was desperate for you to return

To once again open the door and greet me

But I knew you were gone, there was no resurrection

You are gone