You Are More Than a Fart in the Wind, a Dead Dog in a Car
For the Tattoo This Line Challenge.
I sought a tattoo of poetic proportions—
a quote from Wordsworth, Keats, the Bard, or Such.
Something indelible that would whisper from my skin,
like a line by a master, a mezzo piano, lingering on the breeze—
oh.
-
But thanks to liquor, bravado, and blinding pain—
and the needle that set my skin ablaze—
my judgement was blurred into Scotch mist.
I stumbled out inked, just above my ass, with:
-
“You are more than a fart in the wind,
a dead dog in a car.”
-
The shame on my face said it all—
Would this derriere faux pas be my downfall?
I pondered and pondered,
checked my reflection twice and thrice,
and realised—
oh—
it may not be eternal, nor eloquent.
It's like roadkill and methane
wrapped in a message
said enough times,
it becomes
so true.
*
Thanks for reading!
AN: I stand by it.
Here are some other things:
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
Keep reading
More stories from Paul Stewart and writers in Poets and other communities.
Getting Serious About Comedy (Part I)
If I were asked to remark on my life and the childhood that paved some road leading me to this point, I would have to say something about all the funny people who surrounded me for the last 26,872 days (and counting). Somewhere along that road, I became a big fan of laughter and the comedy that spawns it – and, I mean not only my own laughter, but the laughter of others, some of which I have actually been responsible for inducing.
By John Oliver Smith2 days ago in Humor
Comments (21)
Brilliantly executed Paul! A worthy honorable mention!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Yay Paul!! I guess this one isn't a fart in the wind either... congrats on honourable mention this week!!
I needed a laugh!! Thank you for this delight, Paul! Certainly a memorable line!
Witty, clever and funny in one poem. Nice!
A great take on the challenge!!! Witty and humorous 🥰🥰
Hahahahahahhahaha this was hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ah, this was so unexpected! Loved the twist you put into this challenge. The title drew me in, and the writing kept me wanting more. Lovely, authentic poem :)
Another Paul gem!!!!
Angling for the dishonorable mention again I see. At least you didn’t share a snap of said derrière with the forementioned tattoo. Warning: this is not a veiled suggestion nor a dare. Ok, ok, it’s kind of a dare.
Yep, it's so true. I put their stink to shame, lol.
Haha! I think if you're not going to sing or read any of your stories, you should definitely get this tattoo instead!!! Great stuff Paul - this was hilarious!
Hahaha. Oh damn.
Your pieces of writing are always so thought=provoking in a most humorous ways.
I love the humor in this, Paul!
Hilarious tale, but with a genuine human heart to it in the midst of it- I love it, Paul!!
funny idea-imagine waking up with that tattoo
I can't imagine waking up, or sobering up and finding those words, anywhere! That truly is funny. Great imagination.
Please tell me this is not based on a true story.
I may ink this on my arm. It would be a conversation starter at the very least Love this
Hahaha! This made me laugh, I love your sense of humour Paul!!