Woman
Thoughts as I am clambering through everything, enraged and so very tired.
Remove yourself when you don’t want to be where you are
Sit in the raging silence of your thoughts
And yet loneliness cracks through
Taking your hair, pushing you under.
Perhaps you need too much
Perhaps you feel too much
Perhaps you are unhappy in the pit of you
And no human can make it better.
You reach for him and he is dust
Like the dust that turns to glitter in your room
Weightless in the air in streams of sunlight.
You are the wind screaming off the sea
You are not alright
You are a fracture in the whole of you
You are but a drop in your ocean
You could be so much bigger but you are afraid of your own shadow
Of the dark
Of your memories
A new fear now, your fingertips leaving blood on the banister
For you are afraid of your own body
And not in the way of your youth
Where you pinched your hips
Strapped a measuring tape around your waist
Leaving lines in the soft, sweet flesh of you
For you were always strong...
Now your body is failing, failing, falling
Weights on your wrists and ankles
Your mind falling
Blinded by colours
Dim it down, live a half life instead
Don’t feel these things that break your bones
It hurts too much
The way you feel hurts too much
You don’t have the courage to bear it
But if you could, if you did, if you tried again,
Again and again and again
If you reached out in the dark for the hands waiting to hold you
You would still be rocked by these lows, oh yes
But imagine the heights you would climb to
And the soft green places you would rest
Shedding guilt and shame
Those birthrights, heavy rocks roped to your back the day you were born.
Maybe then you could find peace
Maybe then you could uncoil your body, muscle by muscle
And rest.
...
Lay down, sweet love
And rest.
Tomorrow you will rise again.
--- give this incredible piece of music a listen ---
About the Creator
Elle Schillereff
Canadian born, now settled on the west coast of Cymru/Wales. (she/her)
Avid writer of poetry and fiction, holistic massage therapist, advocate for women's health, collector of stray animals.
Grab a cup of tea and hang with me for a while.

Comments (2)
This poem is a raw, stunning ride through the inner world of pain, fear, and the fragile hope of healing. The line, "You are a fracture in the whole of you," is a lovely description of the agonizing struggle with a body and mind warring against themselves. A strong reminder that even in the darkest places, the hope of rising again, of rest, is always there.🌞
Wow! This is a very powerful poem! Really likes “reaching for him and he was dust!” Great quote. And yes! Uncoil! Amazing poem!