Woman

Remove yourself when you don’t want to be where you are

Sit in the raging silence of your thoughts

And yet loneliness cracks through

Taking your hair, pushing you under.

Perhaps you need too much

Perhaps you feel too much

Perhaps you are unhappy in the pit of you

And no human can make it better.

You reach for him and he is dust

Like the dust that turns to glitter in your room

Weightless in the air in streams of sunlight.

You are the wind screaming off the sea

You are not alright

You are a fracture in the whole of you

You are but a drop in your ocean

You could be so much bigger but you are afraid of your own shadow

Of the dark

Of your memories

A new fear now, your fingertips leaving blood on the banister

For you are afraid of your own body

And not in the way of your youth

Where you pinched your hips

Strapped a measuring tape around your waist

Leaving lines in the soft, sweet flesh of you

For you were always strong...

Now your body is failing, failing, falling

Weights on your wrists and ankles

Your mind falling

Blinded by colours

Dim it down, live a half life instead

Don’t feel these things that break your bones

It hurts too much

The way you feel hurts too much

You don’t have the courage to bear it

But if you could, if you did, if you tried again,

Again and again and again

If you reached out in the dark for the hands waiting to hold you

You would still be rocked by these lows, oh yes

But imagine the heights you would climb to

And the soft green places you would rest

Shedding guilt and shame

Those birthrights, heavy rocks roped to your back the day you were born.

Maybe then you could find peace

Maybe then you could uncoil your body, muscle by muscle

And rest.

...

Lay down, sweet love

And rest.

Tomorrow you will rise again.

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