Wine and Roses

I could smoke this vodka and drink this cigarette

I could do anything right now

Fuck this evening and lose my girlfriend

My own personal Jesus won't return this time and I'll be on my own with only a guitar and a dream

Dream: That one day it will all make sense

Or I'll throw up my dreams into the bleached toilet bowl

And sink into my misery

And find a place where no trees grow and no fences will be built around me, a desert

My name will be Eden (exiled)

I'll be watching a blue star at night, hoping for it to shine

And hanging memories of my self

I could swim the Nile and drink it too

I could smoke the Declaration of Independence and follow it too

I'll pursue only happiness and forget all I ever knew of her

And dream myself a dream where I am my own Jesus

And I'll return to myself after every drunken venture and bulimic meal

I'll swallow this evening and puke it into my hands

Shaking hands with the landlord

Shaking wet hands

Grabbing cardboard flesh and smoky eyes

I'll have no girlfriend in a week or so and no dreams in a month

No hands in a year and no guitar in the future

I'll be old

Dying with a personal Jesus,

This book

----

I'll smoke the roses and drink the wine

Forgetting my youth and swallowing my age

Swallowing the cum of my own personal Jesus

Embracing the hangover from the evening of my younger days as I wake into the shocking morning of age

And I'll have no wife, no guitar, no vodka, no cigarette, no rose

No personal Jesus

Just this book

And in each page

Will be a new sentence

That I'll ignore

Until every word is unread

And every syllable

Unenunciated

And I'll have no book

Just my open puke hands

And my smoky eyes

And landlord's kiss

Kiss of death

On lips of paper

The Declaration of Dependence

Pursuit of unhappiness

Lost in a Mexican desert of age

No wine or roses

No handshake

No book