Will

I only want to see you,

Feel you,

Help you.

Love you.

You listen to me, no judgement

You’re in awe of me

I guess I revel in it

You keep me safe, unafraid

You would walk through fire

Just for me

Only me

“You know how I feel about you, right?”

It’s your favorite question for me

My heart knows that you are mine,

No matter how many.

I can’t fight that I’m yours.

It’s been 11 years since I left.

Now, I look for summer.

The annual rendezvous with you,

I carry those moments

As my yearly resolutions.

That’s what makes it hurt.

That’s why I question my mind

Why won’t I let you be?

Narcissism? A safety net?

Knowing that someone out there

Will always love me?

I have a plan.

As we approach 30,

We can make it work

Next time,

Leave that place.

Come with me!

I will take care of you.

I got you.

Is that selfish of me?

To ask you to leave,

Everything you’ve ever known?

Your roots.

Your tribe.

Your home.

I can be your new home.

Isn’t that where the heart is?

No matter how many people I lay with,

No matter how happy I think I am

When you’re near

Every thought,

Every memory,

Every moment,

Lives within you.

I can’t be selfish.

Arrogant.

Scared.

Controlling.

We’ll both find others,

Eventually.

Can they possess us?

The way we possess each other?

I have no answer.

For now,

I will continue looking for summer;

Our annual rendezvous.

The next time,

I go home,

To you.