Why me?

Why? Why me?

Why the constant feeling of falling down this hole? Why this constant feeling of being all alone.

Why why me?

Why the constant ache in my heart?why the constant feeling of being torn apart?

Why?

Why must I go through this constant feeling of sadness? Why must I go through this phase of madness?

Why me?

Why do I feel like death has gotten a hold of me? Why must I feel as if the devil is beside me?

Why must I lay in bed covers over me and all? Why don’t I just fall?

Same old feelings same old shit I feel as if I was just thrown into a god damn pit…

My heart aches,my body trembles maybe one day I’ll fight this battle but not today.

Not today not tomorrow or the next. My good old friend depression you came to strike me again. I feel as if these days I’m just pretending to be human.

Doing the daily tasks I need to do to stay sane quite frankly my friend over here is driving me insane.

I sit here on this dark gloomy day all cold and bitter. In my sweater with my hood pulled over my head it literally looks like I rolled out of bed. I don’t want to fight this urge I don’t want to have a constant battle. I feel as if I want to give out. My heart hurts a lot my head aches and honestly I’m beyond exhaustion…..

Exhaustion got the best of me. Exhaustion is the new life. Rolling out of bed with bed head I feel as if the devil has got a hold of me and looks like it tried to strangle me in my sleep. I stay here wide awake at night just trying to get some sleep.

Who am I what have I become? I don’t understand I’m a bad bitch I own my shit who am I? Where’s the old soul who loves to workout? Where’s the old soul who loves to kick ass? Were the old soul who was happy and bubbly with a whole lot of sas?

This isn’t me now. This is not what I want. Leave me alone to sulk in my bed and to find out who I’ve become…..