Why couldn’t it be me and you?

I used to think I wouldn’t miss the fights.

I even said once:

“I’m not going to miss this.

I’m not going to miss fighting with you.”

But it’s been a while now, and I do.

Not because the fighting was right or that it’s what made me feel closer to you. But because I knew that we could always find our way into each others gaze, fingers entwined in the others hair, seeing each other through the forgiving eyes of repair.

And that, is what always made me feel closer to you.

Do you know how rare that is?

How rare it is to find someone who is willing to stare right through the parts of you that try to scare your love away and say no let’s stay and pray instead and make it through another day.

Do you know how rare that is?

How rare it is to find someone who will say please share in some genuine repair with me because I really deeply care about what’s being bared through this tear between you and me.

Do you know how rare that is?

I did, until I didn’t…

Because sometimes the fight is not just the fight that you’re in but it’s the fight to create the right vision from within.

And when you can’t see it fully together then there’s no tether to what’s keeping you together, and the fight wins.

You have to have an anchored tether.

For all the days when the weather really makes you question whether or not you’ll really weather the storms together forever, or the fight wins.

You have to have a truthful tether, and I don’t know that we did.

We weren’t always sure of exactly what to do when the storms came through.

Sometimes we’d shut in, other times we’d sit in, trade in, beg for it to be different.

But what we really needed to do was lead in, lean in, and believe fully in, the dream in me and you.

And I think we would have done it, if only we could have trusted ourselves enough to overcome it. Because we were always willing to come back to the truth:

That the love we knew was real and threaded through every deep feeling appeal to heal.

So I just keep asking myself:

why wouldn’t we also kneel into feeling alive the greater vision for our love inside?

Why wouldn’t we just deal with the pain and fear inside our lovesphere so we could really take part in the creation of something surreal my dear?

Something that is meant to prove that together we can move and reveal a unique ideal. That is the most true and beautiful life built from what we’ll receive beyond the appeals of our wounded indecisions.

A vision, that guides us faithfully into whole heartedly embracingly deciding to choose each other daily.

I know that’s what’s we both really wanted to do, so I just keep asking myself:

“why couldn’t it be me and you?”