White walls

White walls.

Clean slate.

A lot on my mind.

Too much on my plate.

I want more.

Maybe for me.

I don’t expect you to get it.

It’s hard for you to see.

You’re selfish.

Very blinded.

I tried to prevent that.

But you’re too close minded.

I held on.

But I got pushed off the edge.

There’s no coming back now.

It’s just too sketch.

Everything ripped.

And it can’t be put back.

It’s all too broken.

Everything kinda lacks.

But now there’s clarity.

I see it now.

There’s no more fog.

It’s clear and loud.

I won’t be hurt.

I won’t me manipulated.

I won’t be walked on.

Just because how long we dated.

And yes I did care.

But I chose myself.

I chose to be selfish.

I didn’t want your “help”

I wanted to be independent

Which thankfully I was.

But I was held back.

It wasn’t real love.

It was yelling.

Crying, screaming, tears.

Hurting each other.

And we instilled many fears.

Fights would end with hugs.

Apologies none the less.

Still sadness overcame.

Just a complete mess.

And for that I’m thankful.

I’ve learned and grown.

I know how I should be treated.

From everything you’ve shown.

I also know how to react.

Differently than before.

I did questionable things.

But I really needed more.

Now that’s not an excuse.

But toxic brings out the bad.

I was the worst version of myself.

And constantly frustrated and mad.

But you see that isn’t me.

I’m collected and calm.

I don’t get hysterical often.

But I was fused like a bomb.

Toxic people will do that.

Bring out your bad sides.

Make you blame yourself.

And you’re on a bad ride.

But I have power.

I can change what I want.

I got my clean slate.

And now he can’t haunt.

I changed my path.

And I’m happy for it all.

Because I did it on my own.

And painted white walls.