whispers

it settles on my mind

entering through the pipe in my skin

swimming into my veins

floating in my lungs

whispering spoiled lullabies

sucking me into the flask I drink from

it comes out on the waves of my ears

and back in through the light in my eyes

it rocks my feet above the street

shakes me down to my ass

bruises me to my heart

and after the meal

it hovers

and wafts above with its toothy smile

made of all my years of compliance

licks my tears off its lips

and is laughingly mocking my sobs

but they are not my sobs

they are not my whimperings

only echoes of when I first believed the fallacy

echoes of when I first heard the ecstatic tickling whisper

of when I was covered by the first layer of a false veil

that draped my clear thoughts

and twisted my true joy

they are not my sobs

but the panting of anticipation

the expectation of assistance

and the knowledge that I am not alone in this attach

the spirits of the ones promising to help

are knocking on the door

waiting for my hand to reach the knob

they are not my whimperings

only the breath before the rise

before the thrust to grasp their outstretched hands

yes I am prone to its hinderance

I may always carry the scars of the that influence and harm

but I now have hope

and I call upon them

and they hear me

they still my heart

they steel my mind

they steal me back

calling me out of the din

helping me wade through the mire

away from temptation

away from hatred

and fear and lies

leading me back into the cool soft dim of night

the warmth of new day sun

into the clean fresh moist rain

and into the love of the memory of them

into the love of their spoken lessons

into the love of the ones calling me family

into the love brought about by the youngest smile

and back into the loving hearts of the ones dwelling right next to me