"Where You Used to Be"

I sit where you used to stand,
Where your laughter echoed,
And the air still feels like you,
Even when you’re not here.

I tiptoe through our shared moments,
Wishing I could rewind,
To when your smile was my safe place,
Before the medicine and the silence.

But I can’t escape the way you looked,
The shell that held you but wasn’t you—
No, that’s not how I want to remember,
Not with the cold stillness of the room.

I want to remember the way you’d laugh
As we’d argue over silly things,
How you’d cheer me on from the sidelines,
And how you always made me feel seen.

I remember the warmth of your words,
When you told me you loved me
And I choked on my own tears
Just trying to say it back.

I remember the cats,
How they came to say goodbye,
And the nurse who couldn’t hide her tears,
Because you weren’t just family to me.

You were a part of the world that made sense,
A part of the kitchen, the letters,
The gentle etiquette lessons and jokes,
The simple warmth of your presence.

But now I’m left holding fragments,
And the room is quieter than before.
I reach for the memories,
Clutching the ones that feel like you.

And I won’t forget the warmth of your smile,
The way you’d light up a room
Before the world asked us to say goodbye,
Because what matters most is you.