When you get the wrong kind of grilled cheese, go to the land of trees!

Saw three trees today.

Or was it four?

My stomach, my core wasn’t

I had to blow my nose

Two to three times I think

I had a nap before that

But it was blurry and elsewhere...

The whole way I wore shades

And I definitely had more than one valid reason to do so

I wanted to cry, but I didn’t think I couldn’t explain why

Or that anyone would understand

That I wasn’t one bit sad!

Spoiler: that’s not the only reason people cry

Ever seen a fussy baby?

I once saw someone perform a “fussy baby dance” for a class

It looked fun, but painful

They got the painful part right.

I already know

That there could be a competition

Between air currents grazing my skin

The good ole’ sunshine

And singing on the radio

One.

wrong.

move.

And I am dust...

And it hurts but I am not sad

I am hurt, but I am not here...

When I sing I know I am

When I hum I feel I’m here.

I hummed

Pretty much the entire car ride

Just to make sure I was real

And if I was going to disappear,

I wanted to do it on my own terms...

When Water and I met,

I was disheveled and incoherent

Blabbing loudly like

angry mom dishes fighting back

I was falling and had been falling for -

Tipping

Maybe swaying,

No, I was jogging, and out of breath,

I was...maybe a fugitive under a helicopter LIGHT

Or hot beef stew corralled and corralling a spoon

Metal being shocked

My brain melting my spine melting

Bad opera and a half!

The wrong kind of grilled cheese on the wrong day on the wrong plate at the wrong time, time...thyme...ty...

I once had to perform a “disaster” for a class...

It did end up being ‘a dance’

I thought that was the disaster.

After every tower goes to birds

Cawing, shredding past - all the way back to past lives

Words you’d wrote in books in ink

And books about!

You know where you are: EXACTLY.

The ink revolution always begins in mucky puddles, molten clumps with co-dependency issues...bla-bla-bla

...

There’s no shame.

Only noise

I asked Water to enchant

Me to a (quiet) slumber in the trees.

I closed my eyes with full faith:

I was taken.

Her long-blue silky arms

Passing me through

Like I pass my own blood every day

Or every day it passes through me?...

Either way I felt -

I was,

Buoyant and free

A bridge with no bricks

No wooden planks for a step

Taken still in the air

Into the land of trees...

This poem is part of a series of 25 daily word experiments I am committing to for the month of October. The motto: “Sometimes garbage, sometimes sweet, not fun everyday, but everyday anyway!” Intrigued to experience what can be created (and discovered) in the process of developing a consistent writing practice, I will be writing a poem a day until my Vocal+ subscription ends at the end of the month. Let’s gooooo!