When & Where

When I discontinue counting up, and resume counting down my years,

as prayers feel unanswered after my eyes have become red and dry from the loss of their tears...

when those very same eyes come to see nothing but the color red itself...

and my mind and my all thats within it become black and bleak‐

I can't say thank you enough...

to the hands that still pray for me even as I tear through the flesh on mine

to the arms that still reach out even though I stand covered in the blood my heart spilled out—

~

When desolate days drag on,

and the nightmarish time spent under the moon seems to be infinite...

when I am no longer desperate...

but ready to set fire to that hourglass and every minute within it‐

I cannot apologize enough...

to the ears that hear the screams hidden in the smoke fuming from my lungs‐

to the eyes that read what my bleeding heart has spelled out‐

and to all that have witnessed me repeatedly tossing coins into a non-existent wishing well—

~

Even when I am standing face to face with Mr. Grim himself,

and I have already begun to walk away, from even myself...

It seems that it is actually not impossible to find me,

even though I don't ever speak of when or where I might be

I could not be more grateful...

for those who still shout for me to turn around

that there might be something at least a little bright for me to see‐

for those who still yell for me to stay,

because if it weren't for them, I'd probably already no longer be—

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