What I saw

I am right here thinking about how far I've come since the beginning.

Nowhere near the ending, there's thoughts of the writing I've done and the standing I've built; a closer step to my dreams.

Interestingly, I don't know what to say. Brings tears to my eyes to see my words on a page being printed and sewn delicately together;

To see my own reflection reflect my younger self, all grown up now, but still kind inside;

To know how the steps I took out of pure, unseen grit,

The clamped teeth and clawing fingers going forward, bit by bit;

I didn't realise how brilliant it is to be brave,

How incredible it is to be strong.

And I'm here, sewing my pages together, spending time and energy to bring something to life that will return what I gave it with a smile, saying:

"No thank you." without missing a beat,

Passing the joy, the love, the care, right back to me.

The healing it has done -

The mess I made on the steps, in the sand.

How not even the wind dared to touch the lines, squiggles, circles I decorated the dunes with.

Because on the shoreline where my heart meets my soul,

I found the peace of pages filled with words;

Words of my own;

Stories, come and gone

But remembered with the same fondness as an old friend or bad photograph.

Remembering the some two hundred collections of stories I shared

To get me up onto the building blocks,

To start the walk up the stairs

Healing; the arrow wounds in my heart.

Breaking; the shackles and anchors at my feet.

Freeing; the potential I have at my fingertips.

Soothing; the fox who borrowed time to climb its way into a cave striped with selfish cunning;

Always in an act to protect, protect, protect.

I looked into the rippling, raw image of myself

And what I saw as it morphed

Was something beautiful that I made,

All with a thought.

~