what i realised

The expectation

To climb the spiral staircase

Wearing sharpened stilettos

Is ridiculous.

I was painlessly expecting to be told something else;

That I am enough, perhaps.

Not enough to satiate the stalking predator

So I return to the defaults and hate on every inch of what they can't see yet.

What I won't let anyone see.

I wish,

I wish that they would look closer at the way I tilt my head in pain

As the jolting reminder of my loneliness comes to me;

A spitting image of my past self - boldly confident,

Quietly questioning if the silence was worth it,

If the newfound standards really lessened the burned and shriveled bridges

I thought about all this,

As I clawed my way vertically, until they looked at me again.

And no, I did not hide the patterns on my skin

Or the fire in my eyes threatening to hunt and hurt them.

I only ever reminded them of what they did and didn't do

The equilateral triangle finally complete in it's bold colouring

A shield, a sword and a home, all in one.

If they fell,

If I shattered the stained glass beauty

And captured the light of the spiral staircase we all are told to climb

I would not be satisfied.

I would have to only find one solution;

Reaching out my hand as a final offering of peace.

~