“What Do You Want from Me, God?”

I’ve been asking God,

“What is it that You want from me?”

You know me.

You know I don’t want to live this kind of life.

I always dream of something better.

I see people out there —

chasing their dreams,

doing the things that make their lives whole.

And I ask myself:

Why not me?

What I want is never within reach.

What little I do have —

even that refuses to work out.

I don’t understand it.

Time is slipping away,

and nothing makes sense anymore.

God knows…

I want to achieve something in this life.

Not just survive —

but live,

really live…

for myself.

But why does it feel like He’s not giving me any path?

Everything is slipping through my hands like dry sand.

Every direction feels closed.

Every prayer feels paused.

How long am I supposed to keep saying,

“Maybe God has something better planned”?

I’m breaking too.

I’m human too.

My heart hurts.

When I look at the people I love,

I feel this deep ache —

I want to do something for them.

Be something.

But life keeps falling apart in silence,

like I’m trying to hold water in open palms.