Was It a Goodbye, or a Dream We Never Lived?

Sometimes, the loss of someone you were never with can hurt more than a breakup. You never truly had them, so you never got the chance to say goodbye. Your feelings are stuck in limbo, unable to return to friendship or become a real relationship. A million words are in your heart, but in the end, you have to swallow them all. This relationship never even began, so you feel like you have no right to be sad, yet you feel sadder than anyone else.

The hardest part is all the goodbyes you said. Your mouth said goodbye, but your heart still held onto hope. You thought you'd learned to let go, but in reality, you just couldn't bear to think about them for a while. That feeling of emptiness in the dead of night, that tightness in your chest when you suddenly see someone who reminds you of them, tells you again and again that you haven't forgotten them.

You know you are not needed and that your life has never needed their involvement. But you truly love them, so much so that even just reading the limited-time messages they sent makes you happy. They said you could be friends, and you nodded and smiled, saying yes, but deep down, you couldn't accept it. You don't want to be their friend at all. You want to hold their hand and be with them through winter and spring, year after year. Sadly, sincerity is not a surefire way to win, and lingering on won't bring about miracles. Only later did you understand that ultimately, you have to apologize for those ill-timed approaches, reckless entanglements, and poorly executed affections.

Some loves are never destined to have a happy ending.

Thank you for reading!