Walking Backwards

you found me elsewhere

and you don’t even realise

that I have changed

while you assume

that the same naïve girl from ten years ago

picked up your phone

it’s not me, my name has changed

my body is going

a remote path –

reverse reflection in your rear-view mirror

from a long-hauled truck

you are skilled at

we blocked each other’s energies

when we were together

you can’t be with a family man

and count on him all the time

so, our goals were colluded, crushed, collided

but we tried to hold on

our bond with each other

there was no bond, just addiction

sex, protection, vivisection

of our feelings futile freak show

where else could we go

than to the oblivious ominous orgy?

I remember it well, so I reminisce

that I never want to find myself

in the same shoes

as the ones I’m wearing now are enough

for my needs

the same as I was for you

take what you want from the memories

they are free, so take it

and leave this relationship

for me to describe

as it is no longer true

as I used to be for you

but you never fully groove on

trashing the tiniest thread

tiresomely

throwing us

to be devoured by the beast

ignominiously

*

May 2022

***

originally published at https://medium.com

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