I need to pull out those jagged,
Soggy, grasping, suffocated
Frantic
Disgusting
Crunchy
Slippery
Painful
Set of words
I am choking
I pull it out of my throat
It is a jagged string with tiny spikes made of these spectacular sounds and cute little
Barfy moments,
A happy, nameless couple hugging
Kissing
Groping
Crying
Screaming
Laughing
Breaking
Up
My sanity
Is there
Deep inside of those aching empty
Lovely
Lonely
Devastating
Words
Get them OUT of me!!!
I don’t want it
I don’t want the words
It’s soaking into my body
I’m
drowning
With too much air
I’m
Drowning like a flopping fish
I need to vomit
Get out of me,
No one wants you, they say back.
No one fucking
Wants
You.
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (2)
This was sooooo sad! Merly, I hope you're doing okay 😔
I liked the pattern of singular words and then strings of elaboration, nicely balanced. The meaning is very sad though. I hope you don't really feel that way and it is emo context not self-expression. Either way, big hugs you big hearted poet you.